On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 19:56:13 +0100, Jaques d'Alltrades wrote:
This is the Shed's annual charabangbangbangbang outing. Usually we go to
uk.rec.motorcycles for a touch of culture,

LOL !

but it seems there's been a
change of plan this year.

A plan ? u ca' thisum a plan, more of an aberration if yer arsks me.
perhaps even a virtual unreality.
Now where did I leave my pills,,, I used to be sane,
but I'm ok nooowwwuuuuuuu

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 19:56:13 +0100, Jaques d'Alltrades wrote:
miss tree within an enema, all behind a screen of red checky curtings.

shhh!
keep your ulgar enema variations to yourself
and no airing of yer G string neither, behave,
there are ladies about
erm I think ?

"Jaques d'Alltrades" wrote in message
k...
The message
from (Nick Maclaren) contains these words:

[*] As many authors have pointed out, the inside of ancient and
well-cluttered storage units, such as sheds and wardrobes, tends
to attach itself to other universes. Nobody knows why. This is
why things disappear and strange things appear in such units, and
accounts for the postings on uk.rec.sheds.

It's all down to wormholes in the space-time continuum, string theory,
quondam mechanics, pork pies, brown ale, tobacco tins and what's down
the back of (Bob's sofa.


You forgot reverse polarity of the neutron flow. Needs a hairdryer. (Points
to anyone who knows why....!)

Ali

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005, Jaques d'Alltrades typed this :

Please explain then, why i can never find a teaspoon? I don't take sugar
in tea, cocoa, etc (and don't drink coughy) and use very little in
anything else. (Except when I'm winemolishing, in which case I tend to
hfr a shovel.)

ISTM that you can't find a teaspoon because you don't have any.
--
Roger Hunt

Krane wrote:

In article ,
says...


Sorry - I have been plagued with red bridal satin today.


Is that a devilishly original bride, or togs for some other member of
the party?

Five bridesmaids. Rather too many for my tastes, but not as bad as the
16 I did for a weeding last summer.

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

The message
from (WaltA) contains these words:

Met a fella just the other day, peering out of a shed, think he said
his name was Wells ? Didn't say when he was from.
Muttering he was, worried, something about his chum Pycraft I believe.

Doh!
That would have been better if I had not mistyped and instead typed
Pyecraft.

That must have been old P. Pyecraft we found down the back of (Bob's
sofa next July.

--
Rusty
Emus to: horrid dot squeak snailything zetnet point co full-stop uk
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

The message
from martin contains these words:
On 23 Aug 2005 12:55:39 GMT, (Nick Maclaren) wrote:


Actually, I use the terms 'paraffin' and 'kerosene' as synonyms.
Both are abbreviations (for p. oil and k. oil) and the use of
paraffin in that sense predates the use of kerosene (by only a
few years, true).

I've got a Taylor Paraffin boat stove. The embossed brass plate on it
claims it is a "parrafin" stove. The original manufacturer denied it
was a typo.

Then the original manufacturer was wrong. Paraffin is a contraction of
'parum affinis' (little affinity) - little affinity, IIRC, with oil, and
applied originally just to the wax, but when other fractions of the wax
were made/discovered, this was applied to the whole chemical group.

--
Rusty
Emus to: horrid dot squeak snailything zetnet point co full-stop uk
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

"Ali Hopkins" wrote in
:


"Jaques d'Alltrades" wrote in
message k...
The message
from (Nick Maclaren) contains these words:

[*] As many authors have pointed out, the inside of ancient and
well-cluttered storage units, such as sheds and wardrobes, tends
to attach itself to other universes. Nobody knows why. This is
why things disappear and strange things appear in such units, and
accounts for the postings on uk.rec.sheds.

It's all down to wormholes in the space-time continuum, string
theory, quondam mechanics, pork pies, brown ale, tobacco tins and
what's down the back of (Bob's sofa.


You forgot reverse polarity of the neutron flow. Needs a hairdryer.
(Points to anyone who knows why....!)

Ow! Stop that pointing, you could do someone an injury with that thing.

Also sprach Jaques d'Alltrades :
The message
from (Richard Bos) contains these words:

It also explains why the transitional imago stage between the
embyryonic paperclip and the adult coathanger is never seen - it
occurs in another fold. Ontological evidence suggests the "missing"
stage looks like a teaspoon, which accounts for where all the
teaspoons go.

No, we already know where teaspoons go. They migrate to cupboards
belonging to people like me, who don't take sugar in their tea.

Please explain then, why i can never find a teaspoon? I don't take
sugar in tea, cocoa, etc (and don't drink coughy) and use very little
in anything else. (Except when I'm winemolishing, in which case I
tend to hfr a shovel.)

There /is/ no spoon.

--
Dave Larrington - http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/
Pepperoni and green peppers, mushrooms, olives, chives!

Kate Dicey wrote:

Five bridesmaids. Rather too many for my tastes, but not as bad as
the 16 I did for a weeding last summer.

IGMC, its the grey raincoat (as if you needed to ask)

Dave Larrington wrote:
Also sprach Jaques d'Alltrades :
The message
from (Richard Bos) contains these words:

It also explains why the transitional imago stage between the
embyryonic paperclip and the adult coathanger is never seen - it
occurs in another fold. Ontological evidence suggests the "missing"
stage looks like a teaspoon, which accounts for where all the
teaspoons go.

No, we already know where teaspoons go. They migrate to cupboards
belonging to people like me, who don't take sugar in their tea.

Please explain then, why i can never find a teaspoon? I don't take
sugar in tea, cocoa, etc (and don't drink coughy) and use very little
in anything else. (Except when I'm winemolishing, in which case I
tend to hfr a shovel.)

There /is/ no spoon.

Whither spoon? (Oh look, half past opening time!)

Also sprach Mike Jones :
Dave Larrington wrote:
Also sprach Jaques d'Alltrades :
The message
from (Richard Bos) contains these words:

It also explains why the transitional imago stage between the
embyryonic paperclip and the adult coathanger is never seen - it
occurs in another fold. Ontological evidence suggests the
"missing" stage looks like a teaspoon, which accounts for where
all the teaspoons go.

No, we already know where teaspoons go. They migrate to cupboards
belonging to people like me, who don't take sugar in their tea.

Please explain then, why i can never find a teaspoon? I don't take
sugar in tea, cocoa, etc (and don't drink coughy) and use very
little in anything else. (Except when I'm winemolishing, in which
case I tend to hfr a shovel.)

There /is/ no spoon.

Whither spoon? (Oh look, half past opening time!)

Sounds like a case for...

....

....

url:http://www.rathergood.com/spoonguard/

--
Dave Larrington - http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/
Dead journalists make excellent objets d'art.

Mike Jones wrote:
Kate Dicey wrote:

Five bridesmaids. Rather too many for my tastes, but not as bad as
the 16 I did for a weeding last summer.

IGMC, its the grey raincoat (as if you needed to ask)

Sorry, being I was being satyrical.

Abezny service now resumes - did you know about
http://www.planarity.net/

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 19:39:24 +0100, Jaques d'Alltrades wrote:

The message
from (Richard Bos) contains these words:

No, we already know where teaspoons go. They migrate to cupboards
belonging to people like me, who don't take sugar in their tea.

Please explain then, why i can never find a teaspoon? I don't take sugar
in tea, cocoa, etc (and don't drink coughy) and use very little in
anything else. (Except when I'm winemolishing, in which case I tend to
hfr a shovel.)

Then why do you need a teaspoon?
--
Paul Clark you.missed - umist to reply
Where there's hope there's disappointment.
-- Point Counter Point, Aldous Huxley

Mike Jones wrote:

Kate Dicey wrote:


Five bridesmaids. Rather too many for my tastes, but not as bad as
the 16 I did for a weeding last summer.


IGMC, its the grey raincoat (as if you needed to ask)


Raincoats might have been appropriate. Weeding was Friday 13 August
(not West) last year. rained so hard I thought the duks were gonna move
into me hat brim... Tipped me head sideways when it got heavy, and a
coupla litres of water spilled out! I were galad I were wearing
sandals: the water just sloshed straight out of them. There are some
pix of the making on me wibble.

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

Dave Larrington wrote:


There /is/ no spoon.

A fish

--
Malc

On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 12:20:13 +0200, martin wrote:

On 24 Aug 2005 11:01:29 +0100, Egbert Egret
wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 19:39:24 +0100, Jaques d'Alltrades wrote:

The message
from (Richard Bos) contains these words:

No, we already know where teaspoons go. They migrate to cupboards
belonging to people like me, who don't take sugar in their tea.

Please explain then, why i can never find a teaspoon? I don't take sugar
in tea, cocoa, etc (and don't drink coughy) and use very little in
anything else. (Except when I'm winemolishing, in which case I tend to
hfr a shovel.)

Then why do you need a teaspoon?

How else to stir?

usenet ?

The message
from Egbert Egret contains these words:
On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 19:39:24 +0100, Jaques d'Alltrades wrote:
The message
from (Richard Bos) contains these words:

No, we already know where teaspoons go. They migrate to cupboards
belonging to people like me, who don't take sugar in their tea.

Please explain then, why i can never find a teaspoon? I don't take sugar
in tea, cocoa, etc (and don't drink coughy) and use very little in
anything else. (Except when I'm winemolishing, in which case I tend to
hfr a shovel.)

Then why do you need a teaspoon?

For measuring tea into the pot innit.

And somethymes for a sluuurp-reptitious assault on the honey.

--
Rusty
Emus to: horrid dot squeak snailything zetnet point co full-stop uk
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

The message
from martin contains these words:

Then why do you need a teaspoon?

How else to stir?

With me big woodle spoon, how else?

--
Rusty
Emus to: horrid dot squeak snailything zetnet point co full-stop uk
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

The message .com
from "Malc" contains these words:

Dave Larrington wrote:

There /is/ no spoon.

A fish

Is that a fish, Al?

--
Rusty
Emus to: horrid dot squeak snailything zetnet point co full-stop uk
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/

"Jaques d'Alltrades" wrote in message
k...
The message .com
from "Malc" contains these words:

Dave Larrington wrote:

There /is/ no spoon.

A fish

Is that a fish, Al?


No, it's a quantum leap.

Ali

"Jaques d'Alltrades" wrote in message
k...
The message
from Egbert Egret contains these words:
Then why do you need a teaspoon?

For measuring tea into the pot innit.


You are a deeply civilised bunny, imo.

Ali

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 18:07:17 +0100, Guy King wrote:
I can't get my brane round a naked singularity.

ummmM
It's bad enough seeing some bodies in 3D,
imagine having to see them in 12D !

In article ,
says...
Krane wrote:

In article ,
says...


Sorry - I have been plagued with red bridal satin today.


Is that a devilishly original bride, or togs for some other member of
the party?

Five bridesmaids. Rather too many for my tastes, but not as bad as the
16 I did for a weeding last summer.

16 eh? And I thought our Ruth had lost the plot going for 8. Mined ewe,
when they came tripping down the aisle carring their posies I nearly
died of an acute attack of Aaaw-look-at-the-pretties-itis.

--

Krane

karen at lesbiangardens dot net

Krane wrote:

In article ,
says...

Krane wrote:


In article ,
says...



Sorry - I have been plagued with red bridal satin today.


Is that a devilishly original bride, or togs for some other member of
the party?


Five bridesmaids. Rather too many for my tastes, but not as bad as the
16 I did for a weeding last summer.


16 eh? And I thought our Ruth had lost the plot going for 8. Mined ewe,
when they came tripping down the aisle carring their posies I nearly
died of an acute attack of Aaaw-look-at-the-pretties-itis.

16 lasses all between 5 and 11, in long white skirts, each with a
different coloured top, and matching ribons in their hair, which was Up
in a most lady-like way, and they all had little diamante crowns! Each
lass held a single white rose, with matching ribon. As they went into
their choir stalls in the curch, they gave the mums their roses, and the
bride's mum put them all together with the single red one the bride
carried, so they made a posy of white roses with a single dark red one
in the miggle. Very cute all round. The bride's top was a rainbow! I
also welded crystals all over her veil.

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 13:19:29 +0100, "Ali Hopkins"
wrote:


"Jaques d'Alltrades" wrote in message
. uk...
The message .com
from "Malc" contains these words:

Dave Larrington wrote:

There /is/ no spoon.

A fish

Is that a fish, Al?


No, it's a quantum leap.

Some fishes are leptons.
including salmon.

Kate Dicey wrote:
Krane wrote:

In article ,
says...

Krane wrote:


In article
,
says...



Sorry - I have been plagued with red bridal satin today.


Is that a devilishly original bride, or togs for some other
member
of the party?


Five bridesmaids. Rather too many for my tastes, but not as bad
as
the 16 I did for a weeding last summer.


16 eh? And I thought our Ruth had lost the plot going for 8. Mined
ewe, when they came tripping down the aisle carring their posies I
nearly died of an acute attack of Aaaw-look-at-the-pretties-itis.

16 lasses all between 5 and 11, in long white skirts, each with a
different coloured top, and matching ribons in their hair, which
was
Up in a most lady-like way, and they all had little diamante
crowns!
Each lass held a single white rose, with matching ribon. As they
went into their choir stalls in the curch, they gave the mums their
roses, and the bride's mum put them all together with the single
red
one the bride carried, so they made a posy of white roses with a
single dark red one in the miggle. Very cute all round. The
bride's
top was a rainbow! I also welded crystals all over her veil.

I don't feel very well.

--
Mike.

Mike Lyle wrote:

Kate Dicey wrote:

Krane wrote:


In article ,
says...


Krane wrote:



In article

,

says...




Sorry - I have been plagued with red bridal satin today.


Is that a devilishly original bride, or togs for some other

member

of the party?


Five bridesmaids. Rather too many for my tastes, but not as bad

as

the 16 I did for a weeding last summer.


16 eh? And I thought our Ruth had lost the plot going for 8. Mined
ewe, when they came tripping down the aisle carring their posies I
nearly died of an acute attack of Aaaw-look-at-the-pretties-itis.


16 lasses all between 5 and 11, in long white skirts, each with a
different coloured top, and matching ribons in their hair, which

was

Up in a most lady-like way, and they all had little diamante

crowns!

Each lass held a single white rose, with matching ribon. As they
went into their choir stalls in the curch, they gave the mums their
roses, and the bride's mum put them all together with the single

red

one the bride carried, so they made a posy of white roses with a
single dark red one in the miggle. Very cute all round. The

bride's

top was a rainbow! I also welded crystals all over her veil.


I don't feel very well.

It were a lovely weeding. Wet, but fun.

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

The message
from "Mike Jones" contains these words:

Sorry, being I was being satyrical.

URPriapusAICM£5

--
Skipweasel.
In the beginning was the word.
And the word was Aardvark.

The message
from Egbert Egret contains these words:

Please explain then, why i can never find a teaspoon? I don't take sugar
in tea, cocoa, etc (and don't drink coughy) and use very little in
anything else. (Except when I'm winemolishing, in which case I tend to
hfr a shovel.)

Then why do you need a teaspoon?

OK, smartarse, how do /you/ get earwax from your ear into the storage jar?

--
Skipweasel.
In the beginning was the word.
And the word was Aardvark.

The message
from "Ali Hopkins" contains these words:

For measuring tea into the pot innit.


You are a deeply civilised bunny, imo.

Not as civilised as this...

http://gamilacompany.com/tea/teastick.html

--
Skipweasel.
In the beginning was the word.
And the word was Aardvark.

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 19:56:13 +0100, Jaques d'Alltrades wrote:


Grretings fellow amoebans
I would have responsified spooner,
but my ISP lost its supersymmetry and tripped over its jennyleg
caliper
(you dont find many of those in sheds no more !)

Jaques wrote:
Hmmmm. I goove we need to kidnap this one and keep him to play with

Oh nooo,,,
,,,, ohhh dont,,,
ouch,
ah, ok I yield,
submit,
you win,
Joyce
Jaques, dont do that, put it away
/Grenfell
I'll subscribe to uk.rec.sheds **
NOW you can be afraid, veryish.
All yoz shedz belongz to minz
resistance is furtive,
only pretzels on the menu from now onbeforce
(do the French have a word for menu ?)

** but only if you pumice to leave these good folks de gardeners in
peaces.

- he
has dangerous depths of esoteric nollij. Sort-of like a riddle within a
miss tree within an enema, all behind a screen of red checky curtings.

On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 18:34:22 +0100, Guy King wrote:



The message
from "Ali Hopkins" contains these words:

For measuring tea into the pot innit.


You are a deeply civilised bunny, imo.

Not as civilised as this...

http://gamilacompany.com/tea/teastick.html

Shpx me, a stainless steel re-useable tea bag. What will the think of next.

--
Big Tone

Tony Davison wrote:
On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 18:34:22 +0100, Guy King wrote:



The message
from "Ali Hopkins" contains these words:

For measuring tea into the pot innit.


You are a deeply civilised bunny, imo.

Not as civilised as this...

http://gamilacompany.com/tea/teastick.html

Shpx me, a stainless steel re-useable tea bag. What will the think of
next.

And from leftpondia! (thobut at $20 a shot I'll stick to tea-bags)

The message
from Tony Davison contains these words:

Shpx me, a stainless steel re-useable tea bag. What will the think of next.

Stainless steel reusable condoms?

--
Skipweasel.
In the beginning was the word.
And the word was Aardvark.

Tony Davison wrote:

On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 18:34:22 +0100, Guy King wrote:



The message
from "Ali Hopkins" contains these words:


For measuring tea into the pot innit.


You are a deeply civilised bunny, imo.

Not as civilised as this...

http://gamilacompany.com/tea/teastick.html


Shpx me, a stainless steel re-useable tea bag. What will the think of next.

I've had various different versions of this over the last 20 years.
None werk so well as a well matured teapot. Present teapot holds 8
mugfuls, wot is more than the kettle. I need a kettle bigger than 3
pints wot switches itself off.

--
Kate XXXXXX R.C.T.Q Madame Chef des Trolls
Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons
http://www.katedicey.co.uk
Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

"Mike Jones" wrote in message
...
Tony Davison wrote:
On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 18:34:22 +0100, Guy King wrote:



The message
from "Ali Hopkins" contains these words:

For measuring tea into the pot innit.


You are a deeply civilised bunny, imo.

Not as civilised as this...

http://gamilacompany.com/tea/teastick.html

Shpx me, a stainless steel re-useable tea bag. What will the think of
next.

And from leftpondia! (thobut at $20 a shot I'll stick to tea-bags)



NOOOOOOOOOOO! Tea bags is the anti-Char. Nearly as un frabjous as iced tea.
phtach.

Ali

"Kate Dicey" wrote in message
...

I've had various different versions of this over the last 20 years. None
werk so well as a well matured teapot. Present teapot holds 8 mugfuls,
wot is more than the kettle. I need a kettle bigger than 3 pints wot
switches itself off.


Have you considered an urn?

(Short fat hairy legs, and paid about fifty drachma.)

Ali

On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 20:16:20 +0100, Guy King
wrote this (or the missive included this):

The message
from Tony Davison contains these words:

Shpx me, a stainless steel re-useable tea bag. What will the think of next.

Stainless steel reusable condoms?

Knitted space shuttles?

Come to think of it, they might be more durable at that.


--
®óñ© © ² * ¹°°³ -¹

"Ali Hopkins" wrote in message
...



NOOOOOOOOOOO! Tea bags is the anti-Char. Nearly as un frabjous as iced
tea.

I was on a Mercadian oil rig supply ship in the Gulf.. There were 2
chamines for dispensing beverages in the mess, both with those fishtank
thingies on top with go roundy thingmerts inside. Anyway, one contained
orange juice and the other contained what I took to be Cola. So I poured
meself a cup and took a big swig. UAB in spades, I nearly spat it all over
the floor.

--
Malc