Whose hedge is it?

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"kt" wrote in message
ups.com...
Hi

We have a house that is set back in its garden ie no back garden. Our
neighbour would like the side hedges low as his property is set 3 foot
lower than ours - we would like them higher as we would like a bit of
privacy for ourselves and children as we have no back garden. They are
apprx 4 ft at the moment meaning that the whole world can see in (we're
on a main road). I don't want to start a war or particularly upset him
as he is old and infirm and I do understand his point of view, where
should I go with this?

Kt

ours

you call the tune then to a certain degree, BUT, do you have to go to his
land to trim it? He could make things very difficult. Love thy neighbour and
compromise. Talk to him and agree on a finished solution which will satisfy
you 100% and him to a lesser degree.

Thank God for good neighbours, I have them all around me :-))

Mike

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"kt" wrote in message
oups.com...
ours

we can trim it from our side - we were also going to offer to trim his
side as well. we also have 3 smallish trees on our land which don't
"seem" to be causing a nuisance to him (don't block light etc)which he
wants to cut down which again will make us even more exposed - in fact,
postively naked!

we would like to be good neighbours as well as having some privacy
although this may not happen as these issues seem to become very
emotive from what i gather

kt wrote:
we can trim it from our side - we were also going to offer to trim his
side as well. we also have 3 smallish trees on our land which don't
"seem" to be causing a nuisance to him (don't block light etc)which he
wants to cut down which again will make us even more exposed - in fact,
postively naked!

we would like to be good neighbours as well as having some privacy
although this may not happen as these issues seem to become very
emotive from what i gather

In reasonable times be reasonable but the tree thing I'd politely
tell him to sod off. It's not your responsibility to improve the
quality of life of your neighbours at your own detriment.

I am afraid that tactfully, I would dig my heels in and say 'The hedge is
ours and it is staying as we want it'. (With a lot more tact and decorum
than that!!) 'We want the privacy of a 4ft hedge and we like the trees which
are in the garden' I would go on to say that in fact we would like the
hedges a little higher, and are seriously contemplating taking the hedges
out and replacing them with a 6ft Larch Lap fence, 'but that is a very hard
thing to look at until covered/screend with shrubs etc so we prefer the
hedge'

How would he feel about a 6 foot fence????????

Mike

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"kt" wrote in message
oups.com...
we can trim it from our side - we were also going to offer to trim his
side as well. we also have 3 smallish trees on our land which don't
"seem" to be causing a nuisance to him (don't block light etc)which he
wants to cut down which again will make us even more exposed - in fact,
postively naked!

we would like to be good neighbours as well as having some privacy
although this may not happen as these issues seem to become very
emotive from what i gather

On Tue, 4 Apr 2006 15:18:24 +0100, Mike wrote
(in message ):

I am afraid that tactfully, I would dig my heels in and say 'The hedge is
ours and it is staying as we want it'. (With a lot more tact and decorum
than that!!) 'We want the privacy of a 4ft hedge and we like the trees which
are in the garden' I would go on to say that in fact we would like the
hedges a little higher, and are seriously contemplating taking the hedges
out and replacing them with a 6ft Larch Lap fence, 'but that is a very hard
thing to look at until covered/screend with shrubs etc so we prefer the
hedge'

How would he feel about a 6 foot fence????????

Mike

This is a good point.

This is what I'd consider doing in the circumstances- make drawings showing
the options you are considering (or say you are considering) and this would
include a 6ft fence and possibly a Leylandii hedge (within legal limits),
MORE trees, and of course also the option you actually want, but maybe a bit
higher than you actually want it.

Then you go and talk to him, explain how important privacy is to you and how
you MUST have some screening, and show him the drawings of the options you
are considering. If you point out that the hedge option seems the most
suitable for HIS preferences, he has a good reason to request you pick that
one. Then with a bit of humming and ha-ing and maybe even going away and
thinking about if for a day or so you could say ok we'll probably take your
preferences into account and go for the 5ft or whatever hedge and not add any
more trees but just keep the ones that are there. He would feel relieved that
he's successfully persuaded you to pick the best option and avoiud some
disastrous outcomes from his POV while all the time you knew what you were
going to do anyway. Or something along those lines.

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