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#1
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An Oztraylian Xmas
I penned the following piece of doggerel to wish you one and all a
very Merry Xmas even if I wish it was all over for the year. Fran An Oztraylian Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring not even a louse The stockings were hung on the back of the chair The weather so hot the dogs took to their lair Typical Christmas, all heat, dust and flies I dream of cold beers all served up on ice It's out with the gas tank the barbie to light Whilst all round the land's a terrible sight Seldom before has there been such a drought Dire warning the weathermen sprout "Worse before better" they all seem to say I look in "The Land" to buy extra hay. No fodder listed there to be bought Oh I wish we hadn't been caught With sheds that are empty of all but the rats Which fight like the demon with feral cats. So it's out with the "dry feedpass" blocks As like all other farmers we tear out our locks. "What use is our hair" we mutter and stare At paddocks that simply remain ever bare. The blocks will convert dry standing feed To nourish empty guts in terrible need Please send us some rain dear old St Nick And lend us some hay but do so real quick. St Nick is reputed to grant us our wish Please don't say it's all a great trick. Santa, St Nick or just Kris Kringle (He MUST have a wife he'd hardly be single!) Perhaps I should simply get onto Herself And, provided she's not having sex with an elf, Surely she'd listen to a cry from the heart (But maybe she's just a silly old fart??). Dear Mrs St Nick Please be a great brick Get your man to desist, Lets get down to the grist, We don't want the fat man, the elves or the sled Too great a weight for the roof of the shed Gifts all ephemeral Animal or mineral Are not welcome here At this time of the year. Please send us some water To avoid needless slaughter Our breeders are light They look such a fright A bloody good storm burst Just might quench our thirst But it's inches we need For to bring on the feed. The cattle are gaunt as shags on a rock, The fire threat causes us to take stock, The pump is all primed and the hose it is set For if a fire roars in like a jet Summer in Oztraylia sure is such fun So sodding hot one can scarce raise a run Fire and pestilence, flies sun and dust No bloomin wonder we're all nearly bust. So it's merry Christmas and all that guff Pretty it's simply so bloody rough! |
#2
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An Oztraylian Xmas
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you, Fran. I hope that you will
have a wonderful new year. My garden is doing all right and i've got egg-plant growing now. It's not been too bad a year for me, though next year will be harder with my GRE exams coming up. I hope you get all the rain you ever need. hugs Farm1 tightly and logs out |
#3
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An Oztraylian Xmas
"Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote in message ... I penned the following piece of doggerel to wish you one and all a very Merry Xmas even if I wish it was all over for the year. Fran An Oztraylian Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring not even a louse The stockings were hung on the back of the chair The weather so hot the dogs took to their lair Typical Christmas, all heat, dust and flies I dream of cold beers all served up on ice It's out with the gas tank the barbie to light Whilst all round the land's a terrible sight Seldom before has there been such a drought Dire warning the weathermen sprout "Worse before better" they all seem to say I look in "The Land" to buy extra hay. No fodder listed there to be bought Oh I wish we hadn't been caught With sheds that are empty of all but the rats Which fight like the demon with feral cats. So it's out with the "dry feedpass" blocks As like all other farmers we tear out our locks. "What use is our hair" we mutter and stare At paddocks that simply remain ever bare. The blocks will convert dry standing feed To nourish empty guts in terrible need Please send us some rain dear old St Nick And lend us some hay but do so real quick. St Nick is reputed to grant us our wish Please don't say it's all a great trick. Santa, St Nick or just Kris Kringle (He MUST have a wife he'd hardly be single!) Perhaps I should simply get onto Herself And, provided she's not having sex with an elf, Surely she'd listen to a cry from the heart (But maybe she's just a silly old fart??). Dear Mrs St Nick Please be a great brick Get your man to desist, Lets get down to the grist, We don't want the fat man, the elves or the sled Too great a weight for the roof of the shed Gifts all ephemeral Animal or mineral Are not welcome here At this time of the year. Please send us some water To avoid needless slaughter Our breeders are light They look such a fright A bloody good storm burst Just might quench our thirst But it's inches we need For to bring on the feed. The cattle are gaunt as shags on a rock, The fire threat causes us to take stock, The pump is all primed and the hose it is set For if a fire roars in like a jet Summer in Oztraylia sure is such fun So sodding hot one can scarce raise a run Fire and pestilence, flies sun and dust No bloomin wonder we're all nearly bust. So it's merry Christmas and all that guff Pretty it's simply so bloody rough! Lol. You need to get out more. |
#4
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An Oztraylian Xmas
On Sat, 23 Dec 2006 10:45:02 +0000, louisxiv wrote:
"Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote in message ... I penned the following piece of doggerel to wish you one and all a very Merry Xmas even if I wish it was all over for the year. Fran An Oztraylian Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring not even a louse The stockings were hung on the back of the chair The weather so hot the dogs took to their lair Typical Christmas, all heat, dust and flies I dream of cold beers all served up on ice It's out with the gas tank the barbie to light Whilst all round the land's a terrible sight Seldom before has there been such a drought Dire warning the weathermen sprout "Worse before better" they all seem to say I look in "The Land" to buy extra hay. No fodder listed there to be bought Oh I wish we hadn't been caught With sheds that are empty of all but the rats Which fight like the demon with feral cats. So it's out with the "dry feedpass" blocks As like all other farmers we tear out our locks. "What use is our hair" we mutter and stare At paddocks that simply remain ever bare. The blocks will convert dry standing feed To nourish empty guts in terrible need Please send us some rain dear old St Nick And lend us some hay but do so real quick. St Nick is reputed to grant us our wish Please don't say it's all a great trick. Santa, St Nick or just Kris Kringle (He MUST have a wife he'd hardly be single!) Perhaps I should simply get onto Herself And, provided she's not having sex with an elf, Surely she'd listen to a cry from the heart (But maybe she's just a silly old fart??). Dear Mrs St Nick Please be a great brick Get your man to desist, Lets get down to the grist, We don't want the fat man, the elves or the sled Too great a weight for the roof of the shed Gifts all ephemeral Animal or mineral Are not welcome here At this time of the year. Please send us some water To avoid needless slaughter Our breeders are light They look such a fright A bloody good storm burst Just might quench our thirst But it's inches we need For to bring on the feed. The cattle are gaunt as shags on a rock, The fire threat causes us to take stock, The pump is all primed and the hose it is set For if a fire roars in like a jet Summer in Oztraylia sure is such fun So sodding hot one can scarce raise a run Fire and pestilence, flies sun and dust No bloomin wonder we're all nearly bust. So it's merry Christmas and all that guff Pretty it's simply so bloody rough! Lol. You need to get out more. ********************************* Is this a joke then? God! How terrible to be so short of water. I remember we once toyed with the idea of Australia and we were shown pictures of amogst skulls of cattle and corpses drought killed. I am very afraid we are heading for water shortages in the south of England if the water men don't get their fingers out. I'm so glad we made what will amount to a very big reservoir in the garden. *************************** |
#5
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An Oztraylian Xmas
On 23/12/06 06:05, in article
, "Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: I penned the following piece of doggerel to wish you one and all a very Merry Xmas even if I wish it was all over for the year. Fran An Oztraylian Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring not even a louse The stockings were hung on the back of the chair The weather so hot the dogs took to their lair Typical Christmas, all heat, dust and flies I dream of cold beers all served up on ice It's out with the gas tank the barbie to light Whilst all round the land's a terrible sight Seldom before has there been such a drought Dire warning the weathermen sprout snip Some years ago I was in Vancouver and it was absolutely pouring with rain - just hurling it down. The friends I was staying with took me to a Pow Wow and there were all these 'first people' Canadians dancing and hollering and making the most wonderful sight. But I did tell her that this certainly explained the really awful weather! Perhaps you could get together with a few friends...? I really hope it rains for you. -- Sacha http://www.hillhousenursery.co.uk South Devon http://www.discoverdartmoor.co.uk/ |
#6
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An Oztraylian Xmas
"louisxiv" wrote in message
"Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote in message An Oztraylian Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring not even a louse Lol. You need to get out more. Au contraire! I think I need to stay in more. A drought affected land is not a pretty sight. |
#7
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An Oztraylian Xmas
"Welsh Witch" wrote in message
"Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote in message An Oztraylian Christmas Is this a joke then? Well actually the few remaining cattle we have are really as fat as ticks - they are still scratching a living along the creek banks. The creek is not flowing but there must be some underground seepage keeping the growth going somehow. Unfortunatley the rest of it is true and we are not in one of Oz's low rainfall areas. God! How terrible to be so short of water. Yep - protect and guard what you have with great care. But given that you are a WELSH Witch, I should have included a mention of Land Rovers (my husband has 13 old Series Landies) given that Wales is the spiritual home of old Land Rovers. (I've been dragged there to see where sodding old Landies were trailled in the early days - as if I wanted to waste my time in Wales looking at Landie landscape :-)) I am very afraid we are heading for water shortages in the south of England if the water men don't get their fingers out. I'm so glad we made what will amount to a very big reservoir in the garden. Wise decision! |
#8
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An Oztraylian Xmas
"Sacha" wrote in message
"Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: An Oztraylian Christmas Some years ago I was in Vancouver and it was absolutely pouring with rain - just hurling it down. The friends I was staying with took me to a Pow Wow and there were all these 'first people' Canadians dancing and hollering and making the most wonderful sight. But I did tell her that this certainly explained the really awful weather! Perhaps you could get together with a few friends...? I really hope it rains for you. Surprisingly enough we got 19mm of rain last night so it worked :-)) But as to the rain dance, there are now a number of the more odd groups arranging naked women's rain dances!!!!!!!! |
#9
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An Oztraylian Xmas
On 24/12/06 00:58, in article
, "Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: "Sacha" wrote in message "Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: An Oztraylian Christmas Some years ago I was in Vancouver and it was absolutely pouring with rain - just hurling it down. The friends I was staying with took me to a Pow Wow and there were all these 'first people' Canadians dancing and hollering and making the most wonderful sight. But I did tell her that this certainly explained the really awful weather! Perhaps you could get together with a few friends...? I really hope it rains for you. Surprisingly enough we got 19mm of rain last night so it worked :-)) There you are! Glad you got some though I'm sure you're dancing harder than ever. But as to the rain dance, there are now a number of the more odd groups arranging naked women's rain dances!!!!!!!! Er, why naked? Is the idea to *frighten* the rain into falling?! -- Sacha http://www.hillhousenursery.co.uk South Devon http://www.discoverdartmoor.co.uk/ |
#10
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An Oztraylian Xmas
"Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote in message ... "Sacha" wrote in message "Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: An Oztraylian Christmas Some years ago I was in Vancouver and it was absolutely pouring with rain - just hurling it down. The friends I was staying with took me to a Pow Wow and there were all these 'first people' Canadians dancing and hollering and making the most wonderful sight. But I did tell her that this certainly explained the really awful weather! Perhaps you could get together with a few friends...? I really hope it rains for you. Surprisingly enough we got 19mm of rain last night so it worked :-)) But as to the rain dance, there are now a number of the more odd groups arranging naked women's rain dances!!!!!!!! Please let me know where and when? Alan |
#11
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An Oztraylian Xmas
"Alan Holmes" wrote in message ... "Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote in message ... "Sacha" wrote in message "Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: An Oztraylian Christmas Some years ago I was in Vancouver and it was absolutely pouring with rain - just hurling it down. The friends I was staying with took me to a Pow Wow and there were all these 'first people' Canadians dancing and hollering and making the most wonderful sight. But I did tell her that this certainly explained the really awful weather! Perhaps you could get together with a few friends...? I really hope it rains for you. Surprisingly enough we got 19mm of rain last night so it worked :-)) But as to the rain dance, there are now a number of the more odd groups arranging naked women's rain dances!!!!!!!! Please let me know where and when? Alan Just remember Alan-"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" |
#12
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An Oztraylian Xmas
"Sacha" wrote in message
"Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: But as to the rain dance, there are now a number of the more odd groups arranging naked women's rain dances!!!!!!!! Er, why naked? Is the idea to *frighten* the rain into falling?! All I did was note that it was the lunatic fringe groups and did not enquire further. I already had too much information :-)) |
#13
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An Oztraylian Xmas
On 26/12/06 07:49, in article
, "Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: "Sacha" wrote in message "Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: But as to the rain dance, there are now a number of the more odd groups arranging naked women's rain dances!!!!!!!! Er, why naked? Is the idea to *frighten* the rain into falling?! All I did was note that it was the lunatic fringe groups and did not enquire further. I already had too much information :-)) And imagination! -- Sacha http://www.hillhousenursery.co.uk South Devon http://www.discoverdartmoor.co.uk/ |
#14
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An Oztraylian Xmas
"Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote in message ... "Sacha" wrote in message "Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: But as to the rain dance, there are now a number of the more odd groups arranging naked women's rain dances!!!!!!!! Er, why naked? Is the idea to *frighten* the rain into falling?! All I did was note that it was the lunatic fringe groups and did not enquire further. I already had too much information :-)) I'm sure that naked women's rain dances would be very popular!(:-) Make sure you let me know where they are! Alan |
#15
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An Oztraylian Xmas
"Alan Holmes" wrote in message
"Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote in message "Sacha" wrote in message "Farm1" please@askifyouwannaknow wrote: But as to the rain dance, there are now a number of the more odd groups arranging naked women's rain dances!!!!!!!! Er, why naked? Is the idea to *frighten* the rain into falling?! All I did was note that it was the lunatic fringe groups and did not enquire further. I already had too much information :-)) I'm sure that naked women's rain dances would be very popular!(:-) Make sure you let me know where they are! Alan do you really want to spend a fortune getting to Oztraylia just to watch a bunch of middle age and older women dancing in the nude? I suggest a trip to Soho instead - it'll be cheaper and the bodies will no doubt be better :-)) |
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