Never mind the odd deer..... nuts to even a plague of slugs... fie and
a pox on cats even....( cue Hollywood 'deep throat' disaster movie
voice ).. this is the big one.

Was out strolling the grounds this morning and came across the manager
for the local estate farm scurrying furtively through the copse
adjacent to my garden.
Turns out he's lost some stock - some calves... ten, to be precise.
Gone AWOL since Friday apparently.

Someone left a gate open and they hot footed ( hoofed? ) it away.
He didn't seem too concerned, he reckons they won't go far....
probably end up in someone's garden!

.....and now they're out there.... watching, waiting and very, very
hungry....

Looking on the bright side of things, this could be the ideal
opportunity to report to the forum which plants are cow-proof!

Regards,



--
Stephen Howard - Woodwind repairs & period restorations
http://www.shwoodwind.co.uk
Emails to: showard{who is at}shwoodwind{dot}co{dot}uk

Not a problem , wait till one comes along , a little rodeo work , down to
the butchers and Bobs your uncle , no beef on the grocery list for months
;-)
"Stephen Howard" wrote in message
...

Never mind the odd deer..... nuts to even a plague of slugs... fie and
a pox on cats even....( cue Hollywood 'deep throat' disaster movie
voice ).. this is the big one.

Was out strolling the grounds this morning and came across the manager
for the local estate farm scurrying furtively through the copse
adjacent to my garden.
Turns out he's lost some stock - some calves... ten, to be precise.
Gone AWOL since Friday apparently.

Someone left a gate open and they hot footed ( hoofed? ) it away.
He didn't seem too concerned, he reckons they won't go far....
probably end up in someone's garden!

....and now they're out there.... watching, waiting and very, very
hungry....

Looking on the bright side of things, this could be the ideal
opportunity to report to the forum which plants are cow-proof!

Regards,



--
Stephen Howard - Woodwind repairs & period restorations
http://www.shwoodwind.co.uk
Emails to: showard{who is at}shwoodwind{dot}co{dot}uk

If the worst comes to the worst then this may help.

http://www.hwatson.force9.co.uk/maga...-2000/beef.htm

Remember you could ask us ALL to one hell of a barbecue (And you thought
calf's did damage).

--
David Hill
Abacus nurseries
www.abacus-nurseries.co.uk

On Sun, 27 Jul 2003 23:59:48 +0100, Stephen Howard
wrote:


Never mind the odd deer..... nuts to even a plague of slugs... fie and
a pox on cats even....( cue Hollywood 'deep throat' disaster movie
voice ).. this is the big one.

Was out strolling the grounds this morning and came across the manager
for the local estate farm scurrying furtively through the copse
adjacent to my garden.
Turns out he's lost some stock - some calves... ten, to be precise.
Gone AWOL since Friday apparently.

Someone left a gate open and they hot footed ( hoofed? ) it away.
He didn't seem too concerned, he reckons they won't go far....
probably end up in someone's garden!

....and now they're out there.... watching, waiting and very, very
hungry....

Looking on the bright side of things, this could be the ideal
opportunity to report to the forum which plants are cow-proof!

and how good BBQd veal tastes.
--
martin

On Mon, 28 Jul 2003 00:20:07 +0100, "David Hill"
wrote:

If the worst comes to the worst then this may help.

http://www.hwatson.force9.co.uk/maga...-2000/beef.htm

Remember you could ask us ALL to one hell of a barbecue (And you thought
calf's did damage).

but nothing about "How do I slaughter stray calves"
http://www.hwatson.force9.co.uk/cookbook/faq.htm

She was only the estate managers daughter, but she couldn't keep her
calves together...

I'll fetch my coat.
--
martin

martin wrote in message ...
.....

Looking on the bright side of things, this could be the ideal
opportunity to report to the forum which plants are cow-proof!

and how good BBQd veal tastes.
--
Having had my front garden invaded by calves once, and even pigs once,
they can make a mess of it.
Small holder down the road had poorly fenced areas and they escaped
several times, but only once in each case did my garden get invaded, and
everytime while I was at work.

Mike
www.british-naturism.org.uk

On Sun, 27 Jul 2003 23:59:48 +0100, Stephen Howard
wrote:


Never mind the odd deer.....

Saw the farm manager this evening - they've found the calves.
They'd wandered a mile or so up the road and some kindly person herded
them into a convenient field and locked them in.
Unfortunately they neglected to tell anyone - which turned out to be a
bit of a surprise for the landowner, who arrived back from a weekend
break to find he'd inherited ten cows.

Apparently this sort of thing is quite common in rural communities -
and there's usually a chap hiding in the hedge with a video camera...
the resulting footage appearing on that popular agricultural snippets
show... ( cough ) "You've been farmed".

If nothing else, it prompted some nice beef-related urls...

Regards,



--
Stephen Howard - Woodwind repairs & period restorations
http://www.shwoodwind.co.uk
Emails to: showard{who is at}shwoodwind{dot}co{dot}uk

The message
from Stephen Howard contains these words:

Saw the farm manager this evening - they've found the calves.
They'd wandered a mile or so up the road and some kindly person herded
them into a convenient field and locked them in.
Unfortunately they neglected to tell anyone - which turned out to be a
bit of a surprise for the landowner, who arrived back from a weekend
break to find he'd inherited ten cows.

Apparently this sort of thing is quite common in rural communities -

It is. Very often, whoever stops to get the stock off the road before
there's an accident, just doesn't know who the animals or borrowed field
belongs to. Sometimes, even if the Samaritan *does* know whose stock
they have just parked on whose land without permission, modest silence
may be a sensible option :-)

Janet.