I found this ditty on comp.sys.mac.programmer.misc by Allen Gainsford
). I thought a reposit might amuse urglers!

"Carrot Juice is Murder"

Listen up, brothers and sisters,
Come hear my desperate tale.
I speak of our friends of nature
Trapped in the dirt like a jail.

Vegetables live in oppression,
Served on our tables each night.
This killing of veggies is madness,
I say we take up the fight.

Salads are only for murderers,
Coleslaw's a fascist regime.
Don't think that they don't have feelings
Just 'cause a radish can't scream.

Refrain:

I've heard the screams of the vegetables (Scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled (Having their insides revealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy. (Burning off calories)
How do you think that feels? (Bet it hurts really bad.)

Carrot juice constitutes murder, (And that's a real crime.)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves. (Let my vegetables go!)
It's time to stop all this gardening. (It's dirty as hell.)
Let's call a spade a spade
(...is a spade, is a spade, is a spade, is a...)


I saw a man eating celery,
So I beat him black and blue.
If he ever touches a sprout again,
I'll bite him clean in two.

I'm a political prisoner,
Trapped in a windowless cage,
'Cause I stopped the slaughter of turnips
By killing five men in a rage.

I told the judge when he sentenced me,
"This is my finest hour!
I'd kill those farmers again
Just to save one more cauliflower."


How low as people do we dare to stoop?
Making young broccolis bleed in the soup!
Untie your beans, uncage your tomatoes,
Let potted plants free, don't mash that potato!
Wo, wo, wo...
[No, spare the spud, eat a cow instead!]


I've heard the screams of the vegetables (Scream, scream, scream)
Watching their skins being peeled. (Fates in the stir fry are
sealed)
Grated and steamed with no mercy. (You fat gourmet scum)
How do you think that feels? (Leave them out in the fields.)

Carrot juice constitutes murder, (V-8's genocide.)
Greenhouses prisons for slaves. (Yes, your compost's a grave.)
It's time to stop all this gardening. (Take up macrame.)
Let's call a spade a spade
... is a spade, is a spade, is a spade.


-by The Arrogant Worms


Steve Harris - Cheltenham - Real address steve AT netservs DOT com

The message
from (Steve Harris) contains these words:

I found this ditty on comp.sys.mac.programmer.misc by Allen Gainsford
). I thought a reposit might amuse urglers!

"Carrot Juice is Murder"

I'm saving this for retaliation the next time vegans accuse meateaters :~}

Janet

The message
from (Steve Harris) contains these words:

I found this ditty on comp.sys.mac.programmer.misc by Allen Gainsford
). I thought a reposit might amuse urglers!

"Carrot Juice is Murder"

I'm saving this for retaliation the next time vegans accuse meateaters :~}

Janet

The message
from (Steve Harris) contains these words:

I found this ditty on comp.sys.mac.programmer.misc by Allen Gainsford
). I thought a reposit might amuse urglers!

"Carrot Juice is Murder"

I'm saving this for retaliation the next time vegans accuse meateaters :~}

Janet

The message
from (Steve Harris) contains these words:

I found this ditty on comp.sys.mac.programmer.misc by Allen Gainsford
). I thought a reposit might amuse urglers!

"Carrot Juice is Murder"

I'm saving this for retaliation the next time vegans accuse meateaters :~}

Janet

The message
from (Steve Harris) contains these words:

I found this ditty on comp.sys.mac.programmer.misc by Allen Gainsford
). I thought a reposit might amuse urglers!

"Carrot Juice is Murder"

I'm saving this for retaliation the next time vegans accuse meateaters :~}

Janet

In article , Janet
Baraclough. . writes
"Carrot Juice is Murder"

I'm saving this for retaliation the next time vegans accuse meateaters :~}

Last Sunday's Observer had an article by a chap who made and drank lots
of carrot juice as part of his successful cancer cure. The plan also
included drinking some of his own urine, but then we know that veggies
can do well with a little of that now and then.
--
Alan & Joan Gould - North Lincs.

In article , Janet
Baraclough. . writes
"Carrot Juice is Murder"

I'm saving this for retaliation the next time vegans accuse meateaters :~}

Last Sunday's Observer had an article by a chap who made and drank lots
of carrot juice as part of his successful cancer cure. The plan also
included drinking some of his own urine, but then we know that veggies
can do well with a little of that now and then.
--
Alan & Joan Gould - North Lincs.

Last Sunday's Observer had an article by a chap who made and drank lots
of carrot juice as part of his successful cancer cure.

Was he able to see better in the dark as well?;-}

In article , Janet
Baraclough. . writes
"Carrot Juice is Murder"

I'm saving this for retaliation the next time vegans accuse meateaters :~}

Last Sunday's Observer had an article by a chap who made and drank lots
of carrot juice as part of his successful cancer cure. The plan also
included drinking some of his own urine, but then we know that veggies
can do well with a little of that now and then.
--
Alan & Joan Gould - North Lincs.

Last Sunday's Observer had an article by a chap who made and drank lots
of carrot juice as part of his successful cancer cure.

Was he able to see better in the dark as well?;-}

In article , Mike
writes


Last Sunday's Observer had an article by a chap who made and drank lots
of carrot juice as part of his successful cancer cure.

Was he able to see better in the dark as well?;-}

He didn't say! -- ;-)
--
Alan & Joan Gould - North Lincs.

I found out the other day what a "fruitarian" is . . . you can eat anything
as long as it doesn't kill the plant/animal. So tomatoes are OK, and so is
milk and cheese. Fruitarians quite happily get their protein from dairy
products, unlike vegans, because it doesn't kill the animal to do so.

!

I posted a recipe on alt.cooking.veg which included worcestershire sauce,
which of course contains anchovies. I'm not a vegetarian, I just don't eat
meat, it doesn't agree with my digestive system. What I didn't realise was
that the 'veg' in alt.cooking.veg stands for "vegan" not "vegetarian". I was
told in no uncertain terms that I was not welcome with my suggestions for
"cannibalising their friends in the sea" . . . I didn't stop to argue the
grammar.

Andrew


"Alan Gould" wrote in message
...
In article , Mike
writes


Last Sunday's Observer had an article by a chap who made and drank lots
of carrot juice as part of his successful cancer cure.

Was he able to see better in the dark as well?;-}

He didn't say! -- ;-)
--
Alan & Joan Gould - North Lincs.

I found out the other day what a "fruitarian" is . . . you can eat anything
as long as it doesn't kill the plant/animal. So tomatoes are OK, and so is
milk and cheese. Fruitarians quite happily get their protein from dairy
products, unlike vegans, because it doesn't kill the animal to do so.

!

I posted a recipe on alt.cooking.veg which included worcestershire sauce,
which of course contains anchovies. I'm not a vegetarian, I just don't eat
meat, it doesn't agree with my digestive system. What I didn't realise was
that the 'veg' in alt.cooking.veg stands for "vegan" not "vegetarian". I was
told in no uncertain terms that I was not welcome with my suggestions for
"cannibalising their friends in the sea" . . . I didn't stop to argue the
grammar.

Andrew


"Alan Gould" wrote in message
...
In article , Mike
writes


Last Sunday's Observer had an article by a chap who made and drank lots
of carrot juice as part of his successful cancer cure.

Was he able to see better in the dark as well?;-}

He didn't say! -- ;-)
--
Alan & Joan Gould - North Lincs.

In article ,
"Andy Hunt" writes:
| I found out the other day what a "fruitarian" is . . . you can eat anything
| as long as it doesn't kill the plant/animal. So tomatoes are OK, and so is
| milk and cheese. Fruitarians quite happily get their protein from dairy
| products, unlike vegans, because it doesn't kill the animal to do so.

There might be a slight problem with milk production if dairy cows
were left to live out their lifespan. Not to say a population
problem, as a cow has to produce a calf to start producing milk
(though I believe that is being worked on).

However, combine that with 'right to life' and you get the result
that eating nuts, pulses and grains is not acceptable, nor is eating
the seeds of a tomato.


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.