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Old 26-12-2008, 07:55 PM
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Dec 2008
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Default Plants you would f*** if you knew no1 would find out

for me:
the classic rose bush (although a thorn in the japs eye might smart a bit)
and apple trees, there fruity secnt makes me so horny

am i weird or do other people have feelings for trees? maybe a cheeky wank over gardeners world?

love and kisses

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Old 26-12-2008, 08:02 PM
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For me my juices are set a flowing by the smell of freshly cut grass and the sharp metallic touch of a pair of secateurs to the genitals, does anyone else garden in the nude? but as for the plant i wouls like to procreate with, i sometimes hollow out an apple in the orchard and leave it to be set upon by wasps, when there are 3 or 4 inside the apple i cover the opening and shake the apple, the first few stings on my hand get my dick hard and butterflies in my belly so i carefully place my bell in the apple and allow the wasps to do their thing before drowning them in my sticky strands. When im done i drink the contents of the apple and head inot the house to kiss my wife, the silly bitch has no idea what i've just done.
its refreshing to know someone else shares me "unusual" approach to Gardening
thank you
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Old 26-12-2008, 08:07 PM
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well sir, thank you for contributing your fantastic story, i am extremely pleased everybody else does this and not just me, i feel now i can reveal my secret, i dont just think about ****ing in the garden, i do. infact for my birthday my best freinf dressed up as alan titchmarsh and i violently shagged him up against a holy bush. this was honestly the bast moment of my life, slowly finishing my load on alans perky man breasts was a fantastic feeling that i would recommend to any gardening enthusiast.

happy gardening, sex lovers, or shud that be the other way round

ho ho ho

merry hanuka!!
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Old 26-12-2008, 08:17 PM
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First recorded activity by GardenBanter: Dec 2008
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Im so glad i joined htis interesting and refreshingly honest gardening site, This christmas for example my wife an i played an interesting Gardening based game, flowerbed Battle ships, in the 3 weeks before christmas everytime it was time to change my wifes nappy or she told me she needed to do her buisness i wheeled her chair outside and held her above the lawn so she could drop turd on the Grass, our garden is about 10m by 3m so by the end of the 3 weeks u can imagine it would eb a little full, what with me popping out to add to our collection when nature called. When christmas morning came around and my daughter an dher husband were unloading the car i got my grandchildren and put blindfolds on them, telling them that if they won the game they would get their presents i then procedded in guiding them through the sea of faeces in my backyard, i then stripped naked and joined tem in the garden before telling them to stop drop and roll. the site of 2 4 year olds writhing around in the most natural way was too much for me and i finished on both their smiling faces, beats a worthers original form your grandad anyday doesnt it?
Much love xx

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