Since I occasionally threaten to administer an algae primer
test I thought I'd better write one.
If you don't score 100% your Porg Papers may be revoked without
appeal.

ALGAE TEST

1. Algae's favorite food is:
a) beer
b) carbs
c) merde des poissons

2. Algae is the first plant to get going in the spring because
a) you've been bad and deserve to be punished
b) you bragged about crystal clear water last summer, see (a)
c) love in a cold climate

3. Plants are good for the pond because
a) the pond industry must be supported
b) jan sells plant divides and deserves to be supported
c) you get to use the patented 'bv/beer' method of planting

4. Shade allows the ponder to:
a) relieve himself in the pond (you've got to be a really old rec.ponder
to remember this) thus screening him from the neighbors
b) provides cover for the german shepherd sized bullfrog (same vintage of
ponder will remember this)
c) keep the illegal removal of blue herons a secret.

5. We recommend low fish stocking because
a) leaves more fish for us to buy
b) hides the fact that we occasionally bbq our koi
c) part of our overall plan to transfer fish to more and more ponders thus
porgizing the world.

6. We think you should clean out your pond once a year because
a) the feds are still looking for Jimmy Hoffa
b) the feds are still looking for Osama bin Laden
c) the feds are still looking for WMD

7. We do not recommend dying your pond because
a) orange is a pretty color
b) fish don't look good dyed blue
c) we never thought we had to mention this before

8. UV lights are
a) evil
b) there is no middle answer
c) magic

9. A veggie filter is
a) a new kind of compost heap
b) another expensive project
c) organic merde des poissons consumption

10. You should be patient with your green water because
a) you'll live longer
b) you'll learn to be humble in the face of nature
c) you can't screw with Mother Nature
d) all of the above ;-)




kathy :-)
algae primer
http://hometown.aol.com/ka30p/myhomepage/garden.html