God, how I hate cutting the lawn. Its every two weeks now, and my lawn
wouldn't look so bad if Lawnman, across the street wasn't out there
every third day, down on his hands and knees trimming each and every
stinking blade of grass with a pair of teeny tiny scissors. I swear he'd
be out there each and every night making sweet love to his lawn if he
didn't already have 3 womyn in his house, ala wife and 2 daughters to
have sex with.

Three hours every other week is too much to ask of poor Mr. Hole, and
quite frankly, I'm afraid to go into the back part of the yard these
days where the shed sits because that's where the family of skunks and
groundhog lives. The big fat groundhog doesn't really bother me, but
those skunks are just icky yucky nasty!

I first saw the three skunks one late night three Tuesdays ago, there
was a big momma skunk, and 2 baby skunks scurrying back under the shed
when I had come outside of the house with a dixie cup I had placed a
spider in after I found it in the kitchen dangling on a potholder. At
first I thought it was a neighbor's cat because they were sitting so
close together, and I had never actually seen a skunk alive and or
moving except on tv. But as soon ads I saw the white stripe I dropped
the cup and dashed into the house where I quickly bolted the door.

Last time I was out there there was a network of tunnels all around the
area surrounding the shed. How am I supposed to get in the shed? That's
where I keep the lawn mower. I just bought that lawn mower after the
last one died, if I relinquish control of the shed to the skunks I'll
have to purchase a new one bringing my total mower count for the year to
three! NOT FAIR.

This is why I want to live on a rocky cliff overlooking the sea.


Today's magic number is the #3.










...
Mr. Hole

(The Magically Delicious Mr. Hole) wrote:


Last time I was out there there was a network of tunnels all around the
area surrounding the shed. How am I supposed to get in the shed? That's
where I keep the lawn mower. I just bought that lawn mower after the
last one died, if I relinquish control of the shed to the skunks I'll
have to purchase a new one bringing my total mower count for the year to
three! NOT FAIR.

This is why I want to live on a rocky cliff overlooking the sea.

Dearest Mr. Hole:

Do you live in outer Mongolia? Everyplace I've ever lived (even
Orlando, where a cow can die on a road bordering farm land and no one
gives a flying crap until long after the birds of carrion pick it
clean), you call animal control and they send somebody out to set a
trap or whatever.

LB
"This is the last froup that's going to be impressed if you
just waltz in and say 'I'm a weirdo, ooo, be impressed!'"
- Arthur M Levesque, alt.fan.tom-servo

"The Magically Delicious Mr. Hole" wrote in message
...
God, how I hate cutting the lawn. Its every two weeks now, and my lawn
wouldn't look so bad if Lawnman, across the street wasn't out there
every third day, down on his hands and knees trimming each and every
stinking blade of grass with a pair of teeny tiny scissors. I swear he'd
be out there each and every night making sweet love to his lawn if he
didn't already have 3 womyn in his house, ala wife and 2 daughters to
have sex with.

snip

Last time I was out there there was a network of tunnels all around the
area surrounding the shed. How am I supposed to get in the shed? That's
where I keep the lawn mower. I just bought that lawn mower after the
last one died, if I relinquish control of the shed to the skunks I'll
have to purchase a new one bringing my total mower count for the year to
three! NOT FAIR.

Dear Mr. Hole,

YOU ARE A PUSSY!

That being said, you have your choice of either doing as LisaB suggested
or taking the time to let the skunks get used to you. They won't spray you
if they don't feel threatened by you. i.e., if you take the time to let
them see
you from a distance and gradually move in closer, you can happily co-exist
with them.

--
TheWitch


p.s. YOU ARE A PUSSY!

"TheWitch" wrote in
news:BfWVa.27711$o54.18698@lakeread05:



Dear Mr. Hole,

YOU ARE A PUSSY!

That being said, you have your choice of either doing as LisaB
suggested or taking the time to let the skunks get used to you. They
won't spray you if they don't feel threatened by you. i.e., if you
take the time to let them see
you from a distance and gradually move in closer, you can happily
co-exist with them.


That is a dirty trick Ms. TheWitch. On the other hand, I once saw a man
give a baby skunk mouth to mouth resecitation. And my dad had a pet skunk
until it got horney and wandered off.

-phy

The Magically Delicious Mr. Hole wrote:

God, how I hate cutting the lawn. Its every two weeks now, and my lawn
wouldn't look so bad if Lawnman, across the street wasn't out there
every third day, down on his hands and knees trimming each and every
stinking blade of grass with a pair of teeny tiny scissors. I swear he'd
be out there each and every night making sweet love to his lawn if he
didn't already have 3 womyn in his house, ala wife and 2 daughters to
have sex with.

Three hours every other week is too much to ask of poor Mr. Hole, and
quite frankly, I'm afraid to go into the back part of the yard these
days where the shed sits because that's where the family of skunks and
groundhog lives. The big fat groundhog doesn't really bother me, but
those skunks are just icky yucky nasty!

I first saw the three skunks one late night three Tuesdays ago, there
was a big momma skunk, and 2 baby skunks scurrying back under the shed
when I had come outside of the house with a dixie cup I had placed a
spider in after I found it in the kitchen dangling on a potholder. At
first I thought it was a neighbor's cat because they were sitting so
close together, and I had never actually seen a skunk alive and or
moving except on tv. But as soon ads I saw the white stripe I dropped
the cup and dashed into the house where I quickly bolted the door.

Last time I was out there there was a network of tunnels all around the
area surrounding the shed. How am I supposed to get in the shed? That's
where I keep the lawn mower. I just bought that lawn mower after the
last one died, if I relinquish control of the shed to the skunks I'll
have to purchase a new one bringing my total mower count for the year to
three! NOT FAIR.

This is why I want to live on a rocky cliff overlooking the sea.


Today's magic number is the #3.










..
Mr. Hole


My dishwasher is broken and so I have to wash the dishes by hand. Which
I hate doing as it reminds me of my 'career' in the restaurant business.

jdn

"Dammit" wrote in message
...
Do you live in outer Mongolia? Everyplace I've ever lived (even
Orlando, where a cow can die on a road bordering farm land and no one
gives a flying crap until long after the birds of carrion pick it
clean), you call animal control and they send somebody out to set a
trap or whatever.

Please don't feed the trolls.

-Tim

(The Magically Delicious Mr. Hole) wrote:

God, how I hate cutting the lawn. Its every two weeks now...

Every two weeks? You lazy sack of crap; you're probably the guy that
lowers your neighbors' property values with your uncut lawn and junk
cars on blocks.

David Thompson

"The humans founded America, mastered the nuclear forces, and destroyed
the original Mars about thirty thousand years ago."
"So George Washington was there when they split the atom?"
"Could have been."

-from "Triumph of the Terrans", copyright 24L1042

"phy " took another step towards trancendence with this
one.
"TheWitch" wrote in
news:BfWVa.27711$o54.18698@lakeread05:



Dear Mr. Hole,

YOU ARE A PUSSY!

That being said, you have your choice of either doing as LisaB
suggested or taking the time to let the skunks get used to you. They
won't spray you if they don't feel threatened by you. i.e., if you
take the time to let them see
you from a distance and gradually move in closer, you can happily
co-exist with them.


That is a dirty trick Ms. TheWitch. On the other hand, I once saw a man
give a baby skunk mouth to mouth resecitation. And my dad had a pet skunk
until it got horney and wandered off.

-phy
Hey, that happened to me!

On Wed, 30 Jul 2003, jdn wrote:

[...]
My dishwasher is broken and so I have to wash the dishes by hand. Which
I hate doing as it reminds me of my 'career' in the restaurant business.

Arch?

--Jeremy

--

Jeremy Impson
jdimpson can be contacted at acm dot org
http://impson.tzo.com/~jdimpson

Jeremy D. Impson wrote:

On Wed, 30 Jul 2003, jdn wrote:

[...]

My dishwasher is broken and so I have to wash the dishes by hand. Which
I hate doing as it reminds me of my 'career' in the restaurant business.


Arch?

--Jeremy


No, no fast food restaurant experience. Unless you consider Olive
Garden fast food. That was 6 weeks of pure joy. They would check to
see if a sauce was the right temperature, but not taste it. Dumb asses.

jdn

Jeremy D. Impson wrote:

On Wed, 30 Jul 2003, jdn wrote:

[...]

My dishwasher is broken and so I have to wash the dishes by hand. Which
I hate doing as it reminds me of my 'career' in the restaurant business.


Arch?

--Jeremy


No, no fast food restaurant experience. Unless you consider Olive
Garden fast food. That was 6 weeks of pure joy. They would check to
see if a sauce was the right temperature, but not taste it. Dumb asses.

jdn

Jeremy D. Impson wrote:

On Wed, 30 Jul 2003, jdn wrote:

[...]

My dishwasher is broken and so I have to wash the dishes by hand. Which
I hate doing as it reminds me of my 'career' in the restaurant business.


Arch?

--Jeremy


No, no fast food restaurant experience. Unless you consider Olive
Garden fast food. That was 6 weeks of pure joy. They would check to
see if a sauce was the right temperature, but not taste it. Dumb asses.

jdn

God, how I hate cutting the lawn. Its every two weeks now, and my lawn
wouldn't look so bad if Lawnman, across the street wasn't out there
every third day, down on his hands and knees trimming each and every
stinking blade of grass with a pair of teeny tiny scissors. I swear he'd
be out there each and every night making sweet love to his lawn if he
didn't already have 3 womyn in his house, ala wife and 2 daughters to
have sex with.

Three hours every other week is too much to ask of poor Mr. Hole, and
quite frankly, I'm afraid to go into the back part of the yard these
days where the shed sits because that's where the family of skunks and
groundhog lives. The big fat groundhog doesn't really bother me, but
those skunks are just icky yucky nasty!

WOW, this guy has some serious issues... this guy whines like a 2 month old
baby girl... and he talks about having sex with two daughters... he probably
likes looking at underage girls like 8 and 10 years old. can you say ...
pedophile? If you dont like cutting the lawn then dont do it ... plain and
simple. Did this guys mommy do everything for him ?


I first saw the three skunks one late night three Tuesdays ago, there
was a big momma skunk, and 2 baby skunks scurrying back under the shed
when I had come outside of the house with a dixie cup I had placed a
spider in after I found it in the kitchen dangling on a potholder. At
first I thought it was a neighbor's cat because they were sitting so
close together, and I had never actually seen a skunk alive and or
moving except on tv. But as soon ads I saw the white stripe I dropped
the cup and dashed into the house where I quickly bolted the door.

Ok, now who has been smokin what? He thinks the skunks are gonna bust down
his door and spray him... LMAO !!!! I would not be making any sort of fast
movements around skunks...Thats askin for it...


Last time I was out there there was a network of tunnels all around the
area surrounding the shed. How am I supposed to get in the shed? That's
where I keep the lawn mower. I just bought that lawn mower after the
last one died, if I relinquish control of the shed to the skunks I'll
have to purchase a new one bringing my total mower count for the year to
three! NOT FAIR.

This is why I want to live on a rocky cliff overlooking the sea.

Today's magic number is the #3.

..
Mr. Hole

did you notice that this whiner posted this to three other newsgroups like
alt.home.lawn.garden, alt.fan.tom-servo, alt.religion.kibology,
alt.tv.sesame-street

Some people just should not be allowed to use computers.

Hey Mr Hole, ease up on the wacky tobacky ...

Danial wrote:
..
Mr. Hole

did you notice that this whiner posted this to three other newsgroups like
alt.home.lawn.garden, alt.fan.tom-servo, alt.religion.kibology,
alt.tv.sesame-street

Those three newsgroups are probably full of rebellious teens who use a
hacker program like Linucks to pirate their MP-3s. Posting to more than
one newsgroup should not be allowed, at all. I don't know why Bill Gates
put the ability in when he and Al Gore invented the internet. I'm going
to write to Microsoft to ask them to turn off this "Multiple news group"
bug.

Some people just should not be allowed to use computers.

Ja-my-point-exactly-mes
--
James Vandenberg Email: james at vandenberg.dropbear.id.au
GPG FP= 65AB 179A D884 EDC6 216D FE6A 6833 02BC 4425 4F70
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur. ICQ: 151135390
Beware! Sometimes forks and candles fall from the sky.

"phy" wrote in message
. ..
"TheWitch" wrote in
news:BfWVa.27711$o54.18698@lakeread05:



Dear Mr. Hole,

YOU ARE A PUSSY!

That being said, you have your choice of either doing as LisaB
suggested or taking the time to let the skunks get used to you. They
won't spray you if they don't feel threatened by you. i.e., if you
take the time to let them see
you from a distance and gradually move in closer, you can happily
co-exist with them.


That is a dirty trick Ms. TheWitch.

On whom? Mr. Hole or the skunks?

--
TheWitch