Chris Bartlett
wrote:
Hello all,

First let me apologize for coming into a gardening forum, a place of
growth, and asking how to do what I need to do...

If I can't kill the offending dog here is what I
do with their crap.

Take it to the owners automobile because throwing
it in their yard allows them to pick it up with a
shovel.
Unscathed, in other words. Lift their windshield
wipers, drop it
onto the windshield, and jam the wipers into it.
This way, they have no
choice but to handle it. Best done on a day when
you can stay home, so you
can call the police when the neighbors come over
to complain.

Dogs are hideous mistakes of nature, harbored by
*other* mistakes of nature.


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Doug Kanter wrote:
Chris Bartlett
wrote:
Hello all,

First let me apologize for coming into a gardening forum, a place of
growth, and asking how to do what I need to do...

If I can't kill the offending dog here is what I
do with their crap.

Take it to the owners automobile because throwing
it in their yard allows them to pick it up with a
shovel.
Unscathed, in other words. Lift their windshield
wipers, drop it
onto the windshield, and jam the wipers into it.
This way, they have no
choice but to handle it. Best done on a day when
you can stay home, so you
can call the police when the neighbors come over
to complain.

Dogs are hideous mistakes of nature, harbored by
*other* mistakes of nature.


My dad used to do something similar with MdDonald's wrappers. His store
on the Boston Post Road in West Haven was maybe two miles down the road
from the 2nd Mickey D's to open in Connecticut. As soon as it opened,
his store yard and driveway began to be littered with the paper wrappers
the chain used in those days.

After a while, he'd gather them up and every couple of weeks, drive up
to McDonald's and dump them in front of that store's door entrance.

These days, of course, if you tried that you'd end up in Gitmo.

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message If I can't kill the
offending dog here is what I
do with their crap.


There is a woman in my neighborhood who walks her dog and for some reason he
thinks my grass is easier on his ass or something, anyway frequently he
dumps in my yard, One time I caught her standing there watching him drop his
load, I walked up to her and asked what her address was, she asked why, I
told her I was going to have to take a big shit later on and thought I would
come down and crap in her yard. Dog hasn't shit in my yard since

"Ray Pearson" wrote:
"Doug Kanter" wrote in message If I can't kill the
offending dog here is what I
do with their crap.


There is a woman in my neighborhood who walks her dog and for some reason
he thinks my grass is easier on his ass or something, anyway frequently
he dumps in my yard, One time I caught her standing there watching him
drop his load, I walked up to her and asked what her address was, she
asked why, I told her I was going to have to take a big shit later on and
thought I would come down and crap in her yard. Dog hasn't shit in my
yard since


Here's an alternative: Manage 6 clear shots,
reload, wait for the dog's
owner to come outside, and order the scumbag to
lie face down in the dog's
blood while waiting for the cops to arrive. When a
dog bites an innocent
bystander, it's very important to make sure that
the dog's owner suffers
many times more grief than the person who was
bitten. That means you do NOT
shoot the dog just to wound it. You execute it.
Don't ***EVER*** leave a bad
dog alive so its owner has the chance to enjoy the
animal's presence again.
By following this procedure, you also assure that
if the dog owner has kids,
they learn something from the parent's stupidity.
A dead pet is a great
educational tool.



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Doug Kanter wrote:
Dogs are hideous mistakes of nature, harbored by
*other* mistakes of nature.

Actually, dogs were the first domesticated animal, a huge step up in
mankind's climb towards civilization.

Some people seem to have missed that step though.

DSK

"DSK" wrote in message
...
Doug Kanter wrote:
Dogs are hideous mistakes of nature, harbored by
*other* mistakes of nature.

Actually, dogs were the first domesticated animal, a huge step up in
mankind's climb towards civilization.

Some people seem to have missed that step though.

DSK


Pay attention to the headers, Mr. King. Actually, this moron is just quoting
me anyway...but still.

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...


Here's an alternative: Manage 6 clear shots,
reload, wait for the dog's
owner to come outside, and order the scumbag to
lie face down in the dog's
blood while waiting for the cops to arrive.

and when they get there they arrest you and throw you in the joint, it would
be hard to justify killing a dog with 6 rounds for shitting on your yard.
you would be arrested for killing the dog, disturbing the peace, discharging
a firearm in the city and finally probably criminal recklessness.

On Wed, 10 Aug 2005 16:38:57 -0400, Doug Kanter
wrote:

If I can't kill the offending dog here is what I
do with their crap.

I had a problem with a new neighbor that moved in across the street.
Seems Mr. New Neighbor didn't like dog crap in his yard so he'd send
his rather well fed, large dog to my yard, twice a day, to take a
human sized crap.

My yard is my space. I love working in my yard, mowing the lawn, just
generally enjoying walking around bare foot. Well, with my new
neighbors method of dealing with his dog's poop, walking bare foot in
my lawn was out, and mowing the lawn was disgusting.

For awhile I solved the problem by picking up said dog's duty with a
shovel and disposing of it in my garbage. Problem was, my garbage,
and an area within 50' of said garbage, smelled like a kennel.

Said new neighbor seemed fond of driving a rather large BMW SUV, and
his wife a Cadillac SUV. They also have a beautiful three car garage
with a fancy paver driveway. I decided to collect the dogs dropping
in a bucket, and every few days dump the pile in the gutter right in
front of their drive way. I got a good bit of pleasure watching the
SUVs drive through the piles of dog doo, smearing it up the beautiful
paver drive way, and into the garage. It didn't take a very long time
for neighbor to figure out it was much easier to pick his dog's crap
up with a shovel from my yard, rather than pressure clean his garage
floor and drive way every few days.

Although we're friendly and speak, nothing was ever said about the
situation, but we both know.

bb

"Ray Pearson" wrote in
:


and when they get there they arrest you and throw you in the joint, it
would be hard to justify killing a dog with 6 rounds for shitting on
your yard. you would be arrested for killing the dog, disturbing the
peace, discharging a firearm in the city and finally probably criminal
recklessness.

Don't forget that many states have gun control laws, animal cruelty laws,
and whatever else the prosecutor can throw at you if they happen to be an
animal lover.

"me" wrote in message
...
"Ray Pearson" wrote in
:


and when they get there they arrest you and throw you in the joint, it
would be hard to justify killing a dog with 6 rounds for shitting on
your yard. you would be arrested for killing the dog, disturbing the
peace, discharging a firearm in the city and finally probably criminal
recklessness.

Don't forget that many states have gun control laws, animal cruelty laws,
and whatever else the prosecutor can throw at you if they happen to be an
animal lover.




Ray was responding to a Smithers, who likes to use my name and reprint
things I've said out of context. For instance, he pretends not to realize
that in rural areas, dogs go the way of Jimmy Hoffa all the time. It's a
common occurrence, and for good reasons. Then, the Smithers assumes that the
same people who assist dogs into heaven would use a weapon in a typical
neighborhood of 1/8 acre lots.

The Smithers may be safely ignored.

He's also an idiot for sugesting that anybody needs more than two shots to
kill a dog.
Dude must be a really lousy shot......
Murri

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...

"me" wrote in message
...
"Ray Pearson" wrote in
:


and when they get there they arrest you and throw you in the joint, it
would be hard to justify killing a dog with 6 rounds for shitting on
your yard. you would be arrested for killing the dog, disturbing the
peace, discharging a firearm in the city and finally probably criminal
recklessness.

Don't forget that many states have gun control laws, animal cruelty laws,
and whatever else the prosecutor can throw at you if they happen to be an
animal lover.




Ray was responding to a Smithers, who likes to use my name and reprint
things I've said out of context. For instance, he pretends not to realize
that in rural areas, dogs go the way of Jimmy Hoffa all the time. It's a
common occurrence, and for good reasons. Then, the Smithers assumes that
the same people who assist dogs into heaven would use a weapon in a
typical neighborhood of 1/8 acre lots.

The Smithers may be safely ignored.

He's a gun shmexpert.

"Lady Blacksword" wrote in message
news:1123788585.6b7d2dce18f863cc4042e53922c9ddde@t eranews...
He's also an idiot for sugesting that anybody needs more than two shots to
kill a dog.
Dude must be a really lousy shot......
Murri

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...

"me" wrote in message
...
"Ray Pearson" wrote in
:


and when they get there they arrest you and throw you in the joint, it
would be hard to justify killing a dog with 6 rounds for shitting on
your yard. you would be arrested for killing the dog, disturbing the
peace, discharging a firearm in the city and finally probably criminal
recklessness.

Don't forget that many states have gun control laws, animal cruelty
laws,
and whatever else the prosecutor can throw at you if they happen to be
an
animal lover.




Ray was responding to a Smithers, who likes to use my name and reprint
things I've said out of context. For instance, he pretends not to realize
that in rural areas, dogs go the way of Jimmy Hoffa all the time. It's a
common occurrence, and for good reasons. Then, the Smithers assumes that
the same people who assist dogs into heaven would use a weapon in a
typical neighborhood of 1/8 acre lots.

The Smithers may be safely ignored.

Doug Kanter wrote:
He's a gun shmexpert.

"Lady Blacksword" wrote in message
news:1123788585.6b7d2dce18f863cc4042e53922c9ddde@t eranews...
He's also an idiot for sugesting that anybody needs more than two shots to
kill a dog.
Dude must be a really lousy shot......
Murri

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...

"me" wrote in message
...
"Ray Pearson" wrote in
:


and when they get there they arrest you and throw you in the joint, it
would be hard to justify killing a dog with 6 rounds for shitting on
your yard. you would be arrested for killing the dog, disturbing the
peace, discharging a firearm in the city and finally probably criminal
recklessness.

Don't forget that many states have gun control laws, animal cruelty
laws,
and whatever else the prosecutor can throw at you if they happen to be
an
animal lover.




Ray was responding to a Smithers, who likes to use my name and reprint
things I've said out of context. For instance, he pretends not to realize
that in rural areas, dogs go the way of Jimmy Hoffa all the time. It's a
common occurrence, and for good reasons. Then, the Smithers assumes that
the same people who assist dogs into heaven would use a weapon in a
typical neighborhood of 1/8 acre lots.

The Smithers may be safely ignored.


On a more sane note. Their is a company that makes one of those rain bird style lawn sprinkles with a sensor on it, probably a motion sensor. You just set it up, point it at the direction where the dog and owner like to go and the next time they come by to releave themselves they get the hose turned on them. These were originally intended to keep deer away from plants and such around the house, but they work quite well on dogs and their owners. The dog, and their owners (dressed to go to work or where ever) get a good soaking, they quickly learn it's best to go else where.