"Bill R" wrote in message
...
Warren wrote:
Bad Fences wrote:

A national news magazine program is looking for a few good examples of
neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you
crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast
report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor.
contact us at:



You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service
through Yahoo???



That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post.
--
Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A)


I checked Dateline's website http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/ where I
found this:

.. Neighbor problems
We're looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there someone
on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your case
is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution for
you and your neighbor.


And YES, the address you link to is this yahoo account.


Boy, do I have a neighbor problem....

Karen

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...

"Bill R" wrote in message
...
Warren wrote:
Bad Fences wrote:

A national news magazine program is looking for a few good examples of
neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you
crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast
report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor.
contact us at:



You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service
through Yahoo???



That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post.
--
Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A)


I checked Dateline's website http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/ where I
found this:

. Neighbor problems
We're looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there
someone
on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your
case
is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution
for
you and your neighbor.


And YES, the address you link to is this yahoo account.


Boy, do I have a neighbor problem....



Me too, but I don't think they have a cure for "redneck"

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...

"Bill R" wrote in message
...
Warren wrote:
Bad Fences wrote:

A national news magazine program is looking for a few good examples
of
neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes
you
crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our
broadcast
report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your
neighbor.
contact us at:



You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service
through Yahoo???



That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post.
--
Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A)


I checked Dateline's website http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/ where I
found this:

. Neighbor problems
We're looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there
someone
on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your
case
is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution
for
you and your neighbor.


And YES, the address you link to is this yahoo account.


Boy, do I have a neighbor problem....



Me too, but I don't think they have a cure for "redneck"



Nor "A**hole". hehehehe

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...


Boy, do I have a neighbor problem....



Me too, but I don't think they have a cure for "redneck"



Nor "A**hole". hehehehe

I think I have some that could be considered dual diagnosed, i.e., redneck
assholes.

In article , "Anonny Moose"
wrote:

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...

You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service
through Yahoo???

That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post.
--
Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A)

The poster may have been a weirdo posing as more than was credible, but
the topic became an interesting enough thread even so.

When Granny Artemis & I first moved here a few years back, we had one
neighbor, a retired police officer, who would swear very vulgarly at the
top of his lungs in his back yard (usually at his innocuous bulldog), &
became paranoid about the dykes whose house overlooked his. I think he was
actually suffering small-pecker syndrome & didn't like the idea of butch
girls higher on the hillside than him. For a while, any time he heard us
in the back yard, he'd start cussing loudly at his dog -- obviously really
for our benifit -- & he would bang on our door to complain about dumb
things, like we got his lawn wet one day with our sprinkler, which we've
been careful never to do again, but sheesh, if he wanted to pay for the
water for our garden I wouldn't complain like that.

For a few months we had endless minor troubles with him, like he'd call
the city on us because the maple tree hung out over the sidewalk (in no
one's way, but the ordinance says it can't hang above the sidewalk lower
than ten feet or some such, & this was a little lower). Part of me wanted
to kick his ass & show him what it's like to have an asshole for a
neighbor, but on second thought I decided I was just going to be nice to
him no matter how big an ass he was. Over time he's become less & less
intrusive & paranoid about our presence & has even come close to seeming
like a nice guy. He has a nice dog at least, & I try to always feel that
anyone with a sweet playful elderly dog can't be all bad.

If we'd continued to play his game of butcher-than-you which got him off
on the wrong foot with us, it could've escalated into an endless feud, but
I just couldn't stand the idea of maintaining a dislike for someone I was
going to be living next door to for a long while. I prefer to reserve my
strongest dislike for nazis, rapists, & child molesters, & not not waste
negativity on some lonely old fart thumping his chest at me.

One day the guy just told me "You better be scared of me" in an outright
threat. I responded by calling him a "weird old coot -- the kind I like" &
forced a big hug on him. Completely flabberghasted him, & from that day
on, he stopped trying to be a nuisance. And it was much less work to be
nice to him than to maintain a pointless grudge; even if I might've been
able to justify being as rude as he used to be, that just takes a lot out
of a body, whereas undermining his hostility with a sudden hug was kind of
amusing & not at all draining to have done.

It may have been dishonest to hug him & say I liked weird old coots,
because I in no way liked him at that moment. But it seemed better to
pretend fondness than to see if I could be more obnoxious than he was
being. And I think the gambit ended up making life better for all
concerned. Tempting though it was to "prove" to him he can't push us
around, that just didn't seem like as rewarding a route as striving for
peace. So I try at the very least to give a friendly wave every time he's
in eye-shot, & a few times we've ended up in actual rational conversations
about gardening, with no references to his behavior that first year we
were here, & no need on my part for him to own up to having been such a
jerk.

I'm sure there are exceptional cases where no degree of reason or decency
would win over a bad-egg neighbor. But I bet in 99% of cases, it takes two
to tango, & even IF one of the two players was closer to "right" or
"justified" in maintaining hostilities, it's still just two hard-headed
fools in a ****ing contest, & in most cases it's going to pay off better
to be gentlehearted even in the face of someone's aggression, unless
endless escalations over nothing-worth-a-fight is what one really is
after.

-paghat the ratgirl

--
"Of what are you afraid, my child?" inquired the kindly teacher.
"Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild," replied the timid creature.
-from Peter Newell's "Wild Flowers"
Visit the Garden of Paghat the Ratgirl: http://www.paghat.com

"paghat" wrote in message
news
In article , "Anonny Moose"
wrote:

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...

You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail
service
through Yahoo???

That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post.
--
Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A)

The poster may have been a weirdo posing as more than was credible, but
the topic became an interesting enough thread even so.

When Granny Artemis & I first moved here a few years back, we had one
neighbor, a retired police officer, who would swear very vulgarly at the
top of his lungs in his back yard (usually at his innocuous bulldog), &
became paranoid about the dykes whose house overlooked his. I think he was
actually suffering small-pecker syndrome & didn't like the idea of butch
girls higher on the hillside than him. For a while, any time he heard us
in the back yard, he'd start cussing loudly at his dog -- obviously really
for our benifit -- & he would bang on our door to complain about dumb
things, like we got his lawn wet one day with our sprinkler, which we've
been careful never to do again, but sheesh, if he wanted to pay for the
water for our garden I wouldn't complain like that.

For a few months we had endless minor troubles with him, like he'd call
the city on us because the maple tree hung out over the sidewalk (in no
one's way, but the ordinance says it can't hang above the sidewalk lower
than ten feet or some such, & this was a little lower). Part of me wanted
to kick his ass & show him what it's like to have an asshole for a
neighbor, but on second thought I decided I was just going to be nice to
him no matter how big an ass he was. Over time he's become less & less
intrusive & paranoid about our presence & has even come close to seeming
like a nice guy. He has a nice dog at least, & I try to always feel that
anyone with a sweet playful elderly dog can't be all bad.

If we'd continued to play his game of butcher-than-you which got him off
on the wrong foot with us, it could've escalated into an endless feud, but
I just couldn't stand the idea of maintaining a dislike for someone I was
going to be living next door to for a long while. I prefer to reserve my
strongest dislike for nazis, rapists, & child molesters, & not not waste
negativity on some lonely old fart thumping his chest at me.

One day the guy just told me "You better be scared of me" in an outright
threat. I responded by calling him a "weird old coot -- the kind I like" &
forced a big hug on him. Completely flabberghasted him, & from that day
on, he stopped trying to be a nuisance. And it was much less work to be
nice to him than to maintain a pointless grudge; even if I might've been
able to justify being as rude as he used to be, that just takes a lot out
of a body, whereas undermining his hostility with a sudden hug was kind of
amusing & not at all draining to have done.

It may have been dishonest to hug him & say I liked weird old coots,
because I in no way liked him at that moment. But it seemed better to
pretend fondness than to see if I could be more obnoxious than he was
being. And I think the gambit ended up making life better for all
concerned. Tempting though it was to "prove" to him he can't push us
around, that just didn't seem like as rewarding a route as striving for
peace. So I try at the very least to give a friendly wave every time he's
in eye-shot, & a few times we've ended up in actual rational conversations
about gardening, with no references to his behavior that first year we
were here, & no need on my part for him to own up to having been such a
jerk.

I'm sure there are exceptional cases where no degree of reason or decency
would win over a bad-egg neighbor. But I bet in 99% of cases, it takes two
to tango, & even IF one of the two players was closer to "right" or
"justified" in maintaining hostilities, it's still just two hard-headed
fools in a ****ing contest, & in most cases it's going to pay off better
to be gentlehearted even in the face of someone's aggression, unless
endless escalations over nothing-worth-a-fight is what one really is
after.


I can relate to this, as the person I had in mind as my redneck neighbor was
a small-town police officer until recently. He has two boys about 12 and 14
who have an attitude problem. When ever there is some transgression, the
father gets all puffed up like some blow fish and reminds everyone that he
was a police office - like that's suppose to mean something. The kids were
pointing some sort of gun (paint ball, bb, etc) at a small girl recently.
When the parents approached him and told them that hey didn't want his kids
pointing guns at their daughter (age 7) he told them that his kids could
point guns at anyone they wanted. His kids were riding their motor scooters
through our lawn last week so I told them to stay on the sidewalk. A few
minutes later, big daddy pufffish drove his big-ass truck six houses down
the street to tell us that his kids could do what ever they wanted, once
again telling us that he had been a police office. He made some snide
reference to us being gay. We laughed at him and told him to go home. We
had already called the police because we knew there was a possibility of
some trouble with the moron. The police saw the kids running stop signs and
menacing small kids and told the father to keep them under control. I'm
sure we won't ever be friends, but the kids have stayed away and that is the
best we could hope for.

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

"paghat" wrote in message
news
In article , "Anonny Moose"
wrote:

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...

You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail
service
through Yahoo???

That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post.
--
Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A)

The poster may have been a weirdo posing as more than was credible, but
the topic became an interesting enough thread even so.

When Granny Artemis & I first moved here a few years back, we had one
neighbor, a retired police officer, who would swear very vulgarly at the
top of his lungs in his back yard (usually at his innocuous bulldog), &
became paranoid about the dykes whose house overlooked his. I think he
was
actually suffering small-pecker syndrome & didn't like the idea of butch
girls higher on the hillside than him. For a while, any time he heard us
in the back yard, he'd start cussing loudly at his dog -- obviously
really
for our benifit -- & he would bang on our door to complain about dumb
things, like we got his lawn wet one day with our sprinkler, which we've
been careful never to do again, but sheesh, if he wanted to pay for the
water for our garden I wouldn't complain like that.

For a few months we had endless minor troubles with him, like he'd call
the city on us because the maple tree hung out over the sidewalk (in no
one's way, but the ordinance says it can't hang above the sidewalk lower
than ten feet or some such, & this was a little lower). Part of me
wanted
to kick his ass & show him what it's like to have an asshole for a
neighbor, but on second thought I decided I was just going to be nice to
him no matter how big an ass he was. Over time he's become less & less
intrusive & paranoid about our presence & has even come close to seeming
like a nice guy. He has a nice dog at least, & I try to always feel that
anyone with a sweet playful elderly dog can't be all bad.

If we'd continued to play his game of butcher-than-you which got him off
on the wrong foot with us, it could've escalated into an endless feud,
but
I just couldn't stand the idea of maintaining a dislike for someone I
was
going to be living next door to for a long while. I prefer to reserve my
strongest dislike for nazis, rapists, & child molesters, & not not waste
negativity on some lonely old fart thumping his chest at me.

One day the guy just told me "You better be scared of me" in an outright
threat. I responded by calling him a "weird old coot -- the kind I like"
&
forced a big hug on him. Completely flabberghasted him, & from that day
on, he stopped trying to be a nuisance. And it was much less work to be
nice to him than to maintain a pointless grudge; even if I might've been
able to justify being as rude as he used to be, that just takes a lot
out
of a body, whereas undermining his hostility with a sudden hug was kind
of
amusing & not at all draining to have done.

It may have been dishonest to hug him & say I liked weird old coots,
because I in no way liked him at that moment. But it seemed better to
pretend fondness than to see if I could be more obnoxious than he was
being. And I think the gambit ended up making life better for all
concerned. Tempting though it was to "prove" to him he can't push us
around, that just didn't seem like as rewarding a route as striving for
peace. So I try at the very least to give a friendly wave every time
he's
in eye-shot, & a few times we've ended up in actual rational
conversations
about gardening, with no references to his behavior that first year we
were here, & no need on my part for him to own up to having been such a
jerk.

I'm sure there are exceptional cases where no degree of reason or
decency
would win over a bad-egg neighbor. But I bet in 99% of cases, it takes
two
to tango, & even IF one of the two players was closer to "right" or
"justified" in maintaining hostilities, it's still just two hard-headed
fools in a ****ing contest, & in most cases it's going to pay off better
to be gentlehearted even in the face of someone's aggression, unless
endless escalations over nothing-worth-a-fight is what one really is
after.


I can relate to this, as the person I had in mind as my redneck neighbor
was
a small-town police officer until recently. He has two boys about 12 and
14
who have an attitude problem. When ever there is some transgression, the
father gets all puffed up like some blow fish and reminds everyone that he
was a police office - like that's suppose to mean something. The kids
were
pointing some sort of gun (paint ball, bb, etc) at a small girl recently.
When the parents approached him and told them that hey didn't want his
kids
pointing guns at their daughter (age 7) he told them that his kids could
point guns at anyone they wanted. His kids were riding their motor
scooters
through our lawn last week so I told them to stay on the sidewalk. A few
minutes later, big daddy pufffish drove his big-ass truck six houses down
the street to tell us that his kids could do what ever they wanted, once
again telling us that he had been a police office. He made some snide
reference to us being gay. We laughed at him and told him to go home. We
had already called the police because we knew there was a possibility of
some trouble with the moron. The police saw the kids running stop signs
and
menacing small kids and told the father to keep them under control. I'm
sure we won't ever be friends, but the kids have stayed away and that is
the
best we could hope for.



My asshole neighbors haven't the guts to give us a hard time. They act as if
they are ignoring us and give us the cold shoulder. We always smile and say
hello but they quickly turn away without response. This has been going on
for three years. And why? Well, we wanted to keep our dogs on our property
and their dogs on theirs, so we put up a fence. The fence of THEIR choice,
mind you - as long as they contributed to the cost, which they did. But that
wasn't our only reason. The boundary needed to be established for other
reasons (like protecting our property! They ripped out, without talking to
us, eight trees they thought were on the property line - that turned out to
be well within OUR side of the line. We might have established that if
they'd told us their plan). But apparently they thought we didn't have
legitimate need for a fence - despite the fact that one of their dogs
attacked five people on OUR property, at different times, without regard for
our concerns or complaints, and despite the fact that their dogs were taking
their morning dump in MY yard and they weren't cleaning it up, and despite
the fact that we'd spent thousands of $$ fencing in the other boundary lines
to keep our dogs off the rather busy road that fronts our properties and
they were able to get out from THEIR yard.

Karen

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...


My asshole neighbors haven't the guts to give us a hard time. They act as
if
they are ignoring us and give us the cold shoulder. We always smile and
say
hello but they quickly turn away without response. This has been going on
for three years. And why? Well, we wanted to keep our dogs on our property
and their dogs on theirs, so we put up a fence. The fence of THEIR choice,
mind you - as long as they contributed to the cost, which they did. But
that
wasn't our only reason. The boundary needed to be established for other
reasons (like protecting our property! They ripped out, without talking to
us, eight trees they thought were on the property line - that turned out
to
be well within OUR side of the line. We might have established that if
they'd told us their plan). But apparently they thought we didn't have
legitimate need for a fence - despite the fact that one of their dogs
attacked five people on OUR property, at different times, without regard
for
our concerns or complaints, and despite the fact that their dogs were
taking
their morning dump in MY yard and they weren't cleaning it up, and despite
the fact that we'd spent thousands of $$ fencing in the other boundary
lines
to keep our dogs off the rather busy road that fronts our properties and
they were able to get out from THEIR yard.

Karen


We have a couple of people like that, too. Shortly after moving in there
was big storm and several very large trees were heavily damaged. We had a
tree company come out and remove them. One of our neighbors had a small boy
who insisted on being too close to the action. The tree people asked us to
move him back. They were cutting huge limbs and lowering them to the ground
with ropes. The kid wouldn't stay back so we went to his house and asked
his mother to come get him. We didn't need the liability. For the last
eight years, she has made it her mission to tell everyone that we don't like
kids and are mean *******s. She is friends with the redneck cop. Her
clique of Stepford wives denies our very existence, turning away when we
pass. When they have gardening questions or need a pant disease diagnosed,
they have no problem sending the husband down for advice. The last time I
suggested that they could get good advise on the Internet or at the county
extension office. The next time I'm going to ask hubby if he will get in
hot water for talking to us.

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

who insisted on being too close to the action. The tree people asked us
to
move him back. They were cutting huge limbs and lowering them to the
ground
with ropes. The kid wouldn't stay back so we went to his house and asked
his mother to come get him. We didn't need the liability. For the last
eight years, she has made it her mission to tell everyone that we don't
like
kids and are mean *******s. She is friends with the redneck cop. Her
clique of Stepford wives denies our very existence, turning away when we
pass. When they have gardening questions or need a pant disease
diagnosed,
they have no problem sending the husband down for advice. The last time I
suggested that they could get good advise on the Internet or at the county
extension office. The next time I'm going to ask hubby if he will get in
hot water for talking to us.

Invite him in and seduce him! ;-)

John

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

We have a couple of people like that, too. Shortly after moving in there
was big storm and several very large trees were heavily damaged. We had a
tree company come out and remove them. One of our neighbors had a small
boy
who insisted on being too close to the action. The tree people asked us
to
move him back. They were cutting huge limbs and lowering them to the
ground
with ropes. The kid wouldn't stay back so we went to his house and asked
his mother to come get him. We didn't need the liability. For the last
eight years, she has made it her mission to tell everyone that we don't
like
kids and are mean *******s. She is friends with the redneck cop. Her
clique of Stepford wives denies our very existence, turning away when we
pass. When they have gardening questions or need a pant disease
diagnosed,
they have no problem sending the husband down for advice. The last time I
suggested that they could get good advise on the Internet or at the county
extension office. The next time I'm going to ask hubby if he will get in
hot water for talking to us.



Yup, very similar. Our lovely neighbors turned the folks on the other side
of them against us, since we were the new folks on the block, and they were
all giving us the cold shoulder. But I think they've finally caught on. The
Mrs actually waved when I was walking by recently! But as for the other, I
think the point-of-no-return was crossed at some point and their pride won't
allow them to get back over it. And at this point we don't want anything to
do with them anyway, so a nice barrier of trees and shrubs has been going up
both sides of the fence.

"John Watson" wrote in message
news:Za%Ec.9868$a24.6870@attbi_s03...

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

who insisted on being too close to the action. The tree people asked us
to
move him back. They were cutting huge limbs and lowering them to the
ground
with ropes. The kid wouldn't stay back so we went to his house and
asked
his mother to come get him. We didn't need the liability. For the last
eight years, she has made it her mission to tell everyone that we don't
like
kids and are mean *******s. She is friends with the redneck cop. Her
clique of Stepford wives denies our very existence, turning away when we
pass. When they have gardening questions or need a pant disease
diagnosed,
they have no problem sending the husband down for advice. The last time
I
suggested that they could get good advise on the Internet or at the
county
extension office. The next time I'm going to ask hubby if he will get
in
hot water for talking to us.

Invite him in and seduce him! ;-)

No thanks. There are NOT attractive people. The ring leader of the
Stepford wives looks like she cuts her own hair using a cereal bowl as a
guide. Husband is a good match of her. That aside, I have a great
relationship that has endured for over 23 years and have no need to seduce
the neighbors.

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

We have a couple of people like that, too. Shortly after moving in
there
was big storm and several very large trees were heavily damaged. We had
a
tree company come out and remove them. One of our neighbors had a small
boy
who insisted on being too close to the action. The tree people asked us
to
move him back. They were cutting huge limbs and lowering them to the
ground
with ropes. The kid wouldn't stay back so we went to his house and
asked
his mother to come get him. We didn't need the liability. For the last
eight years, she has made it her mission to tell everyone that we don't
like
kids and are mean *******s. She is friends with the redneck cop. Her
clique of Stepford wives denies our very existence, turning away when we
pass. When they have gardening questions or need a pant disease
diagnosed,
they have no problem sending the husband down for advice. The last time
I
suggested that they could get good advise on the Internet or at the
county
extension office. The next time I'm going to ask hubby if he will get
in
hot water for talking to us.



Yup, very similar. Our lovely neighbors turned the folks on the other side
of them against us, since we were the new folks on the block, and they
were
all giving us the cold shoulder. But I think they've finally caught on.
The
Mrs actually waved when I was walking by recently! But as for the other, I
think the point-of-no-return was crossed at some point and their pride
won't
allow them to get back over it. And at this point we don't want anything
to
do with them anyway, so a nice barrier of trees and shrubs has been going
up
both sides of the fence.

Fences and shrub rows make good neighbors. I think you are right about
saving face. There are neighbors who we have never spoken to personally who
give us the cold shoulder. They would have to admit to their stupidity if
they reversed their position. When we moved here nearly everyone was
friendly and courteous. Now a few people have poisoned the atmosphere.
People come and go so frequently that I hope we can outlast the bad ones.
One thing that I have noticed is that there are more and more single parent
homes. The parents seem to never be home and the kids have little
supervision. There are teens that give you that cold, hard stare with a
look that says they would just as soon kill you as smile. There is no
respect for rules or boundaries. Kids have everything but their parent's
attention.

We have one family that has been exceptionally friendly. They are
fundamentalist Christians who have named all their kids after biblical
characters. They do the home schooling thing. They have always been
friendly and send down plates of food when they have family gatherings. Our
elderly neighbors are also quite friendly.

paghat..
You sound completely sane. Makes me wonder how the hell you ended up on
newsgroups. *grins*
lucy

"paghat" wrote in message
news
In article , "Anonny Moose"
wrote:

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...

You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail
service
through Yahoo???

That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post.
--
Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A)

The poster may have been a weirdo posing as more than was credible, but
the topic became an interesting enough thread even so.

When Granny Artemis & I first moved here a few years back, we had one
neighbor, a retired police officer, who would swear very vulgarly at the
top of his lungs in his back yard (usually at his innocuous bulldog), &
became paranoid about the dykes whose house overlooked his. I think he was
actually suffering small-pecker syndrome & didn't like the idea of butch
girls higher on the hillside than him. For a while, any time he heard us
in the back yard, he'd start cussing loudly at his dog -- obviously really
for our benifit -- & he would bang on our door to complain about dumb
things, like we got his lawn wet one day with our sprinkler, which we've
been careful never to do again, but sheesh, if he wanted to pay for the
water for our garden I wouldn't complain like that.

For a few months we had endless minor troubles with him, like he'd call
the city on us because the maple tree hung out over the sidewalk (in no
one's way, but the ordinance says it can't hang above the sidewalk lower
than ten feet or some such, & this was a little lower). Part of me wanted
to kick his ass & show him what it's like to have an asshole for a
neighbor, but on second thought I decided I was just going to be nice to
him no matter how big an ass he was. Over time he's become less & less
intrusive & paranoid about our presence & has even come close to seeming
like a nice guy. He has a nice dog at least, & I try to always feel that
anyone with a sweet playful elderly dog can't be all bad.

If we'd continued to play his game of butcher-than-you which got him off
on the wrong foot with us, it could've escalated into an endless feud, but
I just couldn't stand the idea of maintaining a dislike for someone I was
going to be living next door to for a long while. I prefer to reserve my
strongest dislike for nazis, rapists, & child molesters, & not not waste
negativity on some lonely old fart thumping his chest at me.

One day the guy just told me "You better be scared of me" in an outright
threat. I responded by calling him a "weird old coot -- the kind I like" &
forced a big hug on him. Completely flabberghasted him, & from that day
on, he stopped trying to be a nuisance. And it was much less work to be
nice to him than to maintain a pointless grudge; even if I might've been
able to justify being as rude as he used to be, that just takes a lot out
of a body, whereas undermining his hostility with a sudden hug was kind of
amusing & not at all draining to have done.

It may have been dishonest to hug him & say I liked weird old coots,
because I in no way liked him at that moment. But it seemed better to
pretend fondness than to see if I could be more obnoxious than he was
being. And I think the gambit ended up making life better for all
concerned. Tempting though it was to "prove" to him he can't push us
around, that just didn't seem like as rewarding a route as striving for
peace. So I try at the very least to give a friendly wave every time he's
in eye-shot, & a few times we've ended up in actual rational conversations
about gardening, with no references to his behavior that first year we
were here, & no need on my part for him to own up to having been such a
jerk.

I'm sure there are exceptional cases where no degree of reason or decency
would win over a bad-egg neighbor. But I bet in 99% of cases, it takes two
to tango, & even IF one of the two players was closer to "right" or
"justified" in maintaining hostilities, it's still just two hard-headed
fools in a ****ing contest, & in most cases it's going to pay off better
to be gentlehearted even in the face of someone's aggression, unless
endless escalations over nothing-worth-a-fight is what one really is
after.

-paghat the ratgirl

--
"Of what are you afraid, my child?" inquired the kindly teacher.
"Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild," replied the timid creature.
-from Peter Newell's "Wild Flowers"
Visit the Garden of Paghat the Ratgirl: http://www.paghat.com

"paghat" wrote in message
news
In article , "Anonny Moose"
wrote:

"Vox Humana" wrote in message
...

"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...

You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail
service
through Yahoo???

That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post.
--
Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A)

The poster may have been a weirdo posing as more than was credible, but
the topic became an interesting enough thread even so.

When Granny Artemis & I first moved here a few years back, we had one
neighbor, a retired police officer, who would swear very vulgarly at the
top of his lungs in his back yard (usually at his innocuous bulldog), &
became paranoid about the dykes whose house overlooked his. I think he was
actually suffering small-pecker syndrome & didn't like the idea of butch
girls higher on the hillside than him. For a while, any time he heard us
in the back yard, he'd start cussing loudly at his dog -- obviously really
for our benifit -- & he would bang on our door to complain about dumb
things, like we got his lawn wet one day with our sprinkler, which we've
been careful never to do again, but sheesh, if he wanted to pay for the
water for our garden I wouldn't complain like that.

For a few months we had endless minor troubles with him, like he'd call
the city on us because the maple tree hung out over the sidewalk (in no
one's way, but the ordinance says it can't hang above the sidewalk lower
than ten feet or some such, & this was a little lower). Part of me wanted
to kick his ass & show him what it's like to have an asshole for a
neighbor, but on second thought I decided I was just going to be nice to
him no matter how big an ass he was. Over time he's become less & less
intrusive & paranoid about our presence & has even come close to seeming
like a nice guy. He has a nice dog at least, & I try to always feel that
anyone with a sweet playful elderly dog can't be all bad.

If we'd continued to play his game of butcher-than-you which got him off
on the wrong foot with us, it could've escalated into an endless feud, but
I just couldn't stand the idea of maintaining a dislike for someone I was
going to be living next door to for a long while. I prefer to reserve my
strongest dislike for nazis, rapists, & child molesters, & not not waste
negativity on some lonely old fart thumping his chest at me.

One day the guy just told me "You better be scared of me" in an outright
threat. I responded by calling him a "weird old coot -- the kind I like" &
forced a big hug on him. Completely flabberghasted him, & from that day
on, he stopped trying to be a nuisance. And it was much less work to be
nice to him than to maintain a pointless grudge; even if I might've been
able to justify being as rude as he used to be, that just takes a lot out
of a body, whereas undermining his hostility with a sudden hug was kind of
amusing & not at all draining to have done.

It may have been dishonest to hug him & say I liked weird old coots,
because I in no way liked him at that moment. But it seemed better to
pretend fondness than to see if I could be more obnoxious than he was
being. And I think the gambit ended up making life better for all
concerned. Tempting though it was to "prove" to him he can't push us
around, that just didn't seem like as rewarding a route as striving for
peace. So I try at the very least to give a friendly wave every time he's
in eye-shot, & a few times we've ended up in actual rational conversations
about gardening, with no references to his behavior that first year we
were here, & no need on my part for him to own up to having been such a
jerk.

I'm sure there are exceptional cases where no degree of reason or decency
would win over a bad-egg neighbor. But I bet in 99% of cases, it takes two
to tango, & even IF one of the two players was closer to "right" or
"justified" in maintaining hostilities, it's still just two hard-headed
fools in a ****ing contest, & in most cases it's going to pay off better
to be gentlehearted even in the face of someone's aggression, unless
endless escalations over nothing-worth-a-fight is what one really is
after.

You're absolutely right. Your priorities are spot on. On many occasions my
wife and I have held our tongues for the sake of peace. And have never
lived to regret it.

Jim

On Thu, 01 Jul 2004 14:03:25 GMT, "Vox Humana"
wrote:


"Anonny Moose" wrote in message
...

"Bill R" wrote in message
...
Warren wrote:
Bad Fences wrote:

A national news magazine program is looking for a few good examples of
neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you
crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast
report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor.
contact us at:



You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service
through Yahoo???



That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post.
--
Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A)


I checked Dateline's website http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/ where I
found this:

. Neighbor problems
We're looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there
someone
on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your
case
is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution
for
you and your neighbor.


And YES, the address you link to is this yahoo account.


Boy, do I have a neighbor problem....



Me too, but I don't think they have a cure for "redneck"

They don't. I live on a corner lot, the main street contains larger
fairly well kept older homes and the side street has some older places
that need a good going over. The house next to us was a rental for a
while, we talked to them just to make sure we had good neighbors (most
of them introduced themselves to us when they moved it). The folks
across the street are heavily involved in the church down the street
and haven't said anything to us when they realized we weren't going to
attend their church. The other folks across the street didn't say much
to us until we had a neighborhood noise problem and needed additional
signatures to get the problem resolved.

On the side street are some older folks who mind their own business
but will stop and yack your ear off if you let them. Really nice
people, we look out for them. One couple lives in her grandmother's
house...they're nice but a bit snotty. They're now trying to sue us
for a piece of land they say her grandmother planted flowers on YEARS
ago (which i mow or weedeat regularly). Across from them is the
redneck...I hate to call the guy that because it's an insult to
rednecks. 900sq foot home with 6 people living in it. 5 running
vehicles and 3 in various states of disrepair. He had 3 more until the
city made him clean them up. Nasty, which is why I have a large bamboo
"fence line" running in the back so I don't have to see it. I've tried
to talk to him, all he can talk about is how bad the city is for
making him mow his lawn and keep it semi neat.

The best neighbors I had was were I grew up in Virginia. 7 homes in a
row surrounded by woods or farmed fields. No fences, no boundaries.
We'd play footback in the backyards of 4 homes, no one cared. We asked
for permission which shocked them. If someone was sick the others
would stop by with a meal or something. Lots of mutual respect, we
looked at our actions from what other's might think. When Dad planted
blueberries in the back he planted 2 dozen bushes. I asked why, he
said so everyone could enjoy them. It's still like that there too,
since 1975 only one person moved away. Pretty cool if you ask me.