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#1
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"Bill R" wrote in message ... Warren wrote: Bad Fences wrote: A national news magazine program is looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor. contact us at: You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service through Yahoo??? That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post. -- Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A) I checked Dateline's website http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/ where I found this: .. Neighbor problems We're looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor. And YES, the address you link to is this yahoo account. Boy, do I have a neighbor problem.... Karen |
#2
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... "Bill R" wrote in message ... Warren wrote: Bad Fences wrote: A national news magazine program is looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor. contact us at: You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service through Yahoo??? That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post. -- Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A) I checked Dateline's website http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/ where I found this: . Neighbor problems We're looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor. And YES, the address you link to is this yahoo account. Boy, do I have a neighbor problem.... Me too, but I don't think they have a cure for "redneck" |
#3
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"Vox Humana" wrote in message ... "Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... "Bill R" wrote in message ... Warren wrote: Bad Fences wrote: A national news magazine program is looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor. contact us at: You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service through Yahoo??? That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post. -- Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A) I checked Dateline's website http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/ where I found this: . Neighbor problems We're looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor. And YES, the address you link to is this yahoo account. Boy, do I have a neighbor problem.... Me too, but I don't think they have a cure for "redneck" Nor "A**hole". hehehehe |
#4
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... Boy, do I have a neighbor problem.... Me too, but I don't think they have a cure for "redneck" Nor "A**hole". hehehehe I think I have some that could be considered dual diagnosed, i.e., redneck assholes. |
#5
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
In article , "Anonny Moose"
wrote: "Vox Humana" wrote in message ... "Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service through Yahoo??? That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post. -- Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A) The poster may have been a weirdo posing as more than was credible, but the topic became an interesting enough thread even so. When Granny Artemis & I first moved here a few years back, we had one neighbor, a retired police officer, who would swear very vulgarly at the top of his lungs in his back yard (usually at his innocuous bulldog), & became paranoid about the dykes whose house overlooked his. I think he was actually suffering small-pecker syndrome & didn't like the idea of butch girls higher on the hillside than him. For a while, any time he heard us in the back yard, he'd start cussing loudly at his dog -- obviously really for our benifit -- & he would bang on our door to complain about dumb things, like we got his lawn wet one day with our sprinkler, which we've been careful never to do again, but sheesh, if he wanted to pay for the water for our garden I wouldn't complain like that. For a few months we had endless minor troubles with him, like he'd call the city on us because the maple tree hung out over the sidewalk (in no one's way, but the ordinance says it can't hang above the sidewalk lower than ten feet or some such, & this was a little lower). Part of me wanted to kick his ass & show him what it's like to have an asshole for a neighbor, but on second thought I decided I was just going to be nice to him no matter how big an ass he was. Over time he's become less & less intrusive & paranoid about our presence & has even come close to seeming like a nice guy. He has a nice dog at least, & I try to always feel that anyone with a sweet playful elderly dog can't be all bad. If we'd continued to play his game of butcher-than-you which got him off on the wrong foot with us, it could've escalated into an endless feud, but I just couldn't stand the idea of maintaining a dislike for someone I was going to be living next door to for a long while. I prefer to reserve my strongest dislike for nazis, rapists, & child molesters, & not not waste negativity on some lonely old fart thumping his chest at me. One day the guy just told me "You better be scared of me" in an outright threat. I responded by calling him a "weird old coot -- the kind I like" & forced a big hug on him. Completely flabberghasted him, & from that day on, he stopped trying to be a nuisance. And it was much less work to be nice to him than to maintain a pointless grudge; even if I might've been able to justify being as rude as he used to be, that just takes a lot out of a body, whereas undermining his hostility with a sudden hug was kind of amusing & not at all draining to have done. It may have been dishonest to hug him & say I liked weird old coots, because I in no way liked him at that moment. But it seemed better to pretend fondness than to see if I could be more obnoxious than he was being. And I think the gambit ended up making life better for all concerned. Tempting though it was to "prove" to him he can't push us around, that just didn't seem like as rewarding a route as striving for peace. So I try at the very least to give a friendly wave every time he's in eye-shot, & a few times we've ended up in actual rational conversations about gardening, with no references to his behavior that first year we were here, & no need on my part for him to own up to having been such a jerk. I'm sure there are exceptional cases where no degree of reason or decency would win over a bad-egg neighbor. But I bet in 99% of cases, it takes two to tango, & even IF one of the two players was closer to "right" or "justified" in maintaining hostilities, it's still just two hard-headed fools in a ****ing contest, & in most cases it's going to pay off better to be gentlehearted even in the face of someone's aggression, unless endless escalations over nothing-worth-a-fight is what one really is after. -paghat the ratgirl -- "Of what are you afraid, my child?" inquired the kindly teacher. "Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild," replied the timid creature. -from Peter Newell's "Wild Flowers" Visit the Garden of Paghat the Ratgirl: http://www.paghat.com |
#6
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"paghat" wrote in message news In article , "Anonny Moose" wrote: "Vox Humana" wrote in message ... "Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service through Yahoo??? That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post. -- Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A) The poster may have been a weirdo posing as more than was credible, but the topic became an interesting enough thread even so. When Granny Artemis & I first moved here a few years back, we had one neighbor, a retired police officer, who would swear very vulgarly at the top of his lungs in his back yard (usually at his innocuous bulldog), & became paranoid about the dykes whose house overlooked his. I think he was actually suffering small-pecker syndrome & didn't like the idea of butch girls higher on the hillside than him. For a while, any time he heard us in the back yard, he'd start cussing loudly at his dog -- obviously really for our benifit -- & he would bang on our door to complain about dumb things, like we got his lawn wet one day with our sprinkler, which we've been careful never to do again, but sheesh, if he wanted to pay for the water for our garden I wouldn't complain like that. For a few months we had endless minor troubles with him, like he'd call the city on us because the maple tree hung out over the sidewalk (in no one's way, but the ordinance says it can't hang above the sidewalk lower than ten feet or some such, & this was a little lower). Part of me wanted to kick his ass & show him what it's like to have an asshole for a neighbor, but on second thought I decided I was just going to be nice to him no matter how big an ass he was. Over time he's become less & less intrusive & paranoid about our presence & has even come close to seeming like a nice guy. He has a nice dog at least, & I try to always feel that anyone with a sweet playful elderly dog can't be all bad. If we'd continued to play his game of butcher-than-you which got him off on the wrong foot with us, it could've escalated into an endless feud, but I just couldn't stand the idea of maintaining a dislike for someone I was going to be living next door to for a long while. I prefer to reserve my strongest dislike for nazis, rapists, & child molesters, & not not waste negativity on some lonely old fart thumping his chest at me. One day the guy just told me "You better be scared of me" in an outright threat. I responded by calling him a "weird old coot -- the kind I like" & forced a big hug on him. Completely flabberghasted him, & from that day on, he stopped trying to be a nuisance. And it was much less work to be nice to him than to maintain a pointless grudge; even if I might've been able to justify being as rude as he used to be, that just takes a lot out of a body, whereas undermining his hostility with a sudden hug was kind of amusing & not at all draining to have done. It may have been dishonest to hug him & say I liked weird old coots, because I in no way liked him at that moment. But it seemed better to pretend fondness than to see if I could be more obnoxious than he was being. And I think the gambit ended up making life better for all concerned. Tempting though it was to "prove" to him he can't push us around, that just didn't seem like as rewarding a route as striving for peace. So I try at the very least to give a friendly wave every time he's in eye-shot, & a few times we've ended up in actual rational conversations about gardening, with no references to his behavior that first year we were here, & no need on my part for him to own up to having been such a jerk. I'm sure there are exceptional cases where no degree of reason or decency would win over a bad-egg neighbor. But I bet in 99% of cases, it takes two to tango, & even IF one of the two players was closer to "right" or "justified" in maintaining hostilities, it's still just two hard-headed fools in a ****ing contest, & in most cases it's going to pay off better to be gentlehearted even in the face of someone's aggression, unless endless escalations over nothing-worth-a-fight is what one really is after. I can relate to this, as the person I had in mind as my redneck neighbor was a small-town police officer until recently. He has two boys about 12 and 14 who have an attitude problem. When ever there is some transgression, the father gets all puffed up like some blow fish and reminds everyone that he was a police office - like that's suppose to mean something. The kids were pointing some sort of gun (paint ball, bb, etc) at a small girl recently. When the parents approached him and told them that hey didn't want his kids pointing guns at their daughter (age 7) he told them that his kids could point guns at anyone they wanted. His kids were riding their motor scooters through our lawn last week so I told them to stay on the sidewalk. A few minutes later, big daddy pufffish drove his big-ass truck six houses down the street to tell us that his kids could do what ever they wanted, once again telling us that he had been a police office. He made some snide reference to us being gay. We laughed at him and told him to go home. We had already called the police because we knew there was a possibility of some trouble with the moron. The police saw the kids running stop signs and menacing small kids and told the father to keep them under control. I'm sure we won't ever be friends, but the kids have stayed away and that is the best we could hope for. |
#7
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"Vox Humana" wrote in message ... "paghat" wrote in message news In article , "Anonny Moose" wrote: "Vox Humana" wrote in message ... "Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service through Yahoo??? That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post. -- Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A) The poster may have been a weirdo posing as more than was credible, but the topic became an interesting enough thread even so. When Granny Artemis & I first moved here a few years back, we had one neighbor, a retired police officer, who would swear very vulgarly at the top of his lungs in his back yard (usually at his innocuous bulldog), & became paranoid about the dykes whose house overlooked his. I think he was actually suffering small-pecker syndrome & didn't like the idea of butch girls higher on the hillside than him. For a while, any time he heard us in the back yard, he'd start cussing loudly at his dog -- obviously really for our benifit -- & he would bang on our door to complain about dumb things, like we got his lawn wet one day with our sprinkler, which we've been careful never to do again, but sheesh, if he wanted to pay for the water for our garden I wouldn't complain like that. For a few months we had endless minor troubles with him, like he'd call the city on us because the maple tree hung out over the sidewalk (in no one's way, but the ordinance says it can't hang above the sidewalk lower than ten feet or some such, & this was a little lower). Part of me wanted to kick his ass & show him what it's like to have an asshole for a neighbor, but on second thought I decided I was just going to be nice to him no matter how big an ass he was. Over time he's become less & less intrusive & paranoid about our presence & has even come close to seeming like a nice guy. He has a nice dog at least, & I try to always feel that anyone with a sweet playful elderly dog can't be all bad. If we'd continued to play his game of butcher-than-you which got him off on the wrong foot with us, it could've escalated into an endless feud, but I just couldn't stand the idea of maintaining a dislike for someone I was going to be living next door to for a long while. I prefer to reserve my strongest dislike for nazis, rapists, & child molesters, & not not waste negativity on some lonely old fart thumping his chest at me. One day the guy just told me "You better be scared of me" in an outright threat. I responded by calling him a "weird old coot -- the kind I like" & forced a big hug on him. Completely flabberghasted him, & from that day on, he stopped trying to be a nuisance. And it was much less work to be nice to him than to maintain a pointless grudge; even if I might've been able to justify being as rude as he used to be, that just takes a lot out of a body, whereas undermining his hostility with a sudden hug was kind of amusing & not at all draining to have done. It may have been dishonest to hug him & say I liked weird old coots, because I in no way liked him at that moment. But it seemed better to pretend fondness than to see if I could be more obnoxious than he was being. And I think the gambit ended up making life better for all concerned. Tempting though it was to "prove" to him he can't push us around, that just didn't seem like as rewarding a route as striving for peace. So I try at the very least to give a friendly wave every time he's in eye-shot, & a few times we've ended up in actual rational conversations about gardening, with no references to his behavior that first year we were here, & no need on my part for him to own up to having been such a jerk. I'm sure there are exceptional cases where no degree of reason or decency would win over a bad-egg neighbor. But I bet in 99% of cases, it takes two to tango, & even IF one of the two players was closer to "right" or "justified" in maintaining hostilities, it's still just two hard-headed fools in a ****ing contest, & in most cases it's going to pay off better to be gentlehearted even in the face of someone's aggression, unless endless escalations over nothing-worth-a-fight is what one really is after. I can relate to this, as the person I had in mind as my redneck neighbor was a small-town police officer until recently. He has two boys about 12 and 14 who have an attitude problem. When ever there is some transgression, the father gets all puffed up like some blow fish and reminds everyone that he was a police office - like that's suppose to mean something. The kids were pointing some sort of gun (paint ball, bb, etc) at a small girl recently. When the parents approached him and told them that hey didn't want his kids pointing guns at their daughter (age 7) he told them that his kids could point guns at anyone they wanted. His kids were riding their motor scooters through our lawn last week so I told them to stay on the sidewalk. A few minutes later, big daddy pufffish drove his big-ass truck six houses down the street to tell us that his kids could do what ever they wanted, once again telling us that he had been a police office. He made some snide reference to us being gay. We laughed at him and told him to go home. We had already called the police because we knew there was a possibility of some trouble with the moron. The police saw the kids running stop signs and menacing small kids and told the father to keep them under control. I'm sure we won't ever be friends, but the kids have stayed away and that is the best we could hope for. My asshole neighbors haven't the guts to give us a hard time. They act as if they are ignoring us and give us the cold shoulder. We always smile and say hello but they quickly turn away without response. This has been going on for three years. And why? Well, we wanted to keep our dogs on our property and their dogs on theirs, so we put up a fence. The fence of THEIR choice, mind you - as long as they contributed to the cost, which they did. But that wasn't our only reason. The boundary needed to be established for other reasons (like protecting our property! They ripped out, without talking to us, eight trees they thought were on the property line - that turned out to be well within OUR side of the line. We might have established that if they'd told us their plan). But apparently they thought we didn't have legitimate need for a fence - despite the fact that one of their dogs attacked five people on OUR property, at different times, without regard for our concerns or complaints, and despite the fact that their dogs were taking their morning dump in MY yard and they weren't cleaning it up, and despite the fact that we'd spent thousands of $$ fencing in the other boundary lines to keep our dogs off the rather busy road that fronts our properties and they were able to get out from THEIR yard. Karen |
#8
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... My asshole neighbors haven't the guts to give us a hard time. They act as if they are ignoring us and give us the cold shoulder. We always smile and say hello but they quickly turn away without response. This has been going on for three years. And why? Well, we wanted to keep our dogs on our property and their dogs on theirs, so we put up a fence. The fence of THEIR choice, mind you - as long as they contributed to the cost, which they did. But that wasn't our only reason. The boundary needed to be established for other reasons (like protecting our property! They ripped out, without talking to us, eight trees they thought were on the property line - that turned out to be well within OUR side of the line. We might have established that if they'd told us their plan). But apparently they thought we didn't have legitimate need for a fence - despite the fact that one of their dogs attacked five people on OUR property, at different times, without regard for our concerns or complaints, and despite the fact that their dogs were taking their morning dump in MY yard and they weren't cleaning it up, and despite the fact that we'd spent thousands of $$ fencing in the other boundary lines to keep our dogs off the rather busy road that fronts our properties and they were able to get out from THEIR yard. Karen We have a couple of people like that, too. Shortly after moving in there was big storm and several very large trees were heavily damaged. We had a tree company come out and remove them. One of our neighbors had a small boy who insisted on being too close to the action. The tree people asked us to move him back. They were cutting huge limbs and lowering them to the ground with ropes. The kid wouldn't stay back so we went to his house and asked his mother to come get him. We didn't need the liability. For the last eight years, she has made it her mission to tell everyone that we don't like kids and are mean *******s. She is friends with the redneck cop. Her clique of Stepford wives denies our very existence, turning away when we pass. When they have gardening questions or need a pant disease diagnosed, they have no problem sending the husband down for advice. The last time I suggested that they could get good advise on the Internet or at the county extension office. The next time I'm going to ask hubby if he will get in hot water for talking to us. |
#9
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"Vox Humana" wrote in message ... who insisted on being too close to the action. The tree people asked us to move him back. They were cutting huge limbs and lowering them to the ground with ropes. The kid wouldn't stay back so we went to his house and asked his mother to come get him. We didn't need the liability. For the last eight years, she has made it her mission to tell everyone that we don't like kids and are mean *******s. She is friends with the redneck cop. Her clique of Stepford wives denies our very existence, turning away when we pass. When they have gardening questions or need a pant disease diagnosed, they have no problem sending the husband down for advice. The last time I suggested that they could get good advise on the Internet or at the county extension office. The next time I'm going to ask hubby if he will get in hot water for talking to us. Invite him in and seduce him! ;-) John |
#10
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"Vox Humana" wrote in message ... We have a couple of people like that, too. Shortly after moving in there was big storm and several very large trees were heavily damaged. We had a tree company come out and remove them. One of our neighbors had a small boy who insisted on being too close to the action. The tree people asked us to move him back. They were cutting huge limbs and lowering them to the ground with ropes. The kid wouldn't stay back so we went to his house and asked his mother to come get him. We didn't need the liability. For the last eight years, she has made it her mission to tell everyone that we don't like kids and are mean *******s. She is friends with the redneck cop. Her clique of Stepford wives denies our very existence, turning away when we pass. When they have gardening questions or need a pant disease diagnosed, they have no problem sending the husband down for advice. The last time I suggested that they could get good advise on the Internet or at the county extension office. The next time I'm going to ask hubby if he will get in hot water for talking to us. Yup, very similar. Our lovely neighbors turned the folks on the other side of them against us, since we were the new folks on the block, and they were all giving us the cold shoulder. But I think they've finally caught on. The Mrs actually waved when I was walking by recently! But as for the other, I think the point-of-no-return was crossed at some point and their pride won't allow them to get back over it. And at this point we don't want anything to do with them anyway, so a nice barrier of trees and shrubs has been going up both sides of the fence. |
#11
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"John Watson" wrote in message news:Za%Ec.9868$a24.6870@attbi_s03... "Vox Humana" wrote in message ... who insisted on being too close to the action. The tree people asked us to move him back. They were cutting huge limbs and lowering them to the ground with ropes. The kid wouldn't stay back so we went to his house and asked his mother to come get him. We didn't need the liability. For the last eight years, she has made it her mission to tell everyone that we don't like kids and are mean *******s. She is friends with the redneck cop. Her clique of Stepford wives denies our very existence, turning away when we pass. When they have gardening questions or need a pant disease diagnosed, they have no problem sending the husband down for advice. The last time I suggested that they could get good advise on the Internet or at the county extension office. The next time I'm going to ask hubby if he will get in hot water for talking to us. Invite him in and seduce him! ;-) No thanks. There are NOT attractive people. The ring leader of the Stepford wives looks like she cuts her own hair using a cereal bowl as a guide. Husband is a good match of her. That aside, I have a great relationship that has endured for over 23 years and have no need to seduce the neighbors. |
#12
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... "Vox Humana" wrote in message ... We have a couple of people like that, too. Shortly after moving in there was big storm and several very large trees were heavily damaged. We had a tree company come out and remove them. One of our neighbors had a small boy who insisted on being too close to the action. The tree people asked us to move him back. They were cutting huge limbs and lowering them to the ground with ropes. The kid wouldn't stay back so we went to his house and asked his mother to come get him. We didn't need the liability. For the last eight years, she has made it her mission to tell everyone that we don't like kids and are mean *******s. She is friends with the redneck cop. Her clique of Stepford wives denies our very existence, turning away when we pass. When they have gardening questions or need a pant disease diagnosed, they have no problem sending the husband down for advice. The last time I suggested that they could get good advise on the Internet or at the county extension office. The next time I'm going to ask hubby if he will get in hot water for talking to us. Yup, very similar. Our lovely neighbors turned the folks on the other side of them against us, since we were the new folks on the block, and they were all giving us the cold shoulder. But I think they've finally caught on. The Mrs actually waved when I was walking by recently! But as for the other, I think the point-of-no-return was crossed at some point and their pride won't allow them to get back over it. And at this point we don't want anything to do with them anyway, so a nice barrier of trees and shrubs has been going up both sides of the fence. Fences and shrub rows make good neighbors. I think you are right about saving face. There are neighbors who we have never spoken to personally who give us the cold shoulder. They would have to admit to their stupidity if they reversed their position. When we moved here nearly everyone was friendly and courteous. Now a few people have poisoned the atmosphere. People come and go so frequently that I hope we can outlast the bad ones. One thing that I have noticed is that there are more and more single parent homes. The parents seem to never be home and the kids have little supervision. There are teens that give you that cold, hard stare with a look that says they would just as soon kill you as smile. There is no respect for rules or boundaries. Kids have everything but their parent's attention. We have one family that has been exceptionally friendly. They are fundamentalist Christians who have named all their kids after biblical characters. They do the home schooling thing. They have always been friendly and send down plates of food when they have family gatherings. Our elderly neighbors are also quite friendly. |
#13
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
paghat..
You sound completely sane. Makes me wonder how the hell you ended up on newsgroups. *grins* lucy "paghat" wrote in message news In article , "Anonny Moose" wrote: "Vox Humana" wrote in message ... "Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service through Yahoo??? That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post. -- Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A) The poster may have been a weirdo posing as more than was credible, but the topic became an interesting enough thread even so. When Granny Artemis & I first moved here a few years back, we had one neighbor, a retired police officer, who would swear very vulgarly at the top of his lungs in his back yard (usually at his innocuous bulldog), & became paranoid about the dykes whose house overlooked his. I think he was actually suffering small-pecker syndrome & didn't like the idea of butch girls higher on the hillside than him. For a while, any time he heard us in the back yard, he'd start cussing loudly at his dog -- obviously really for our benifit -- & he would bang on our door to complain about dumb things, like we got his lawn wet one day with our sprinkler, which we've been careful never to do again, but sheesh, if he wanted to pay for the water for our garden I wouldn't complain like that. For a few months we had endless minor troubles with him, like he'd call the city on us because the maple tree hung out over the sidewalk (in no one's way, but the ordinance says it can't hang above the sidewalk lower than ten feet or some such, & this was a little lower). Part of me wanted to kick his ass & show him what it's like to have an asshole for a neighbor, but on second thought I decided I was just going to be nice to him no matter how big an ass he was. Over time he's become less & less intrusive & paranoid about our presence & has even come close to seeming like a nice guy. He has a nice dog at least, & I try to always feel that anyone with a sweet playful elderly dog can't be all bad. If we'd continued to play his game of butcher-than-you which got him off on the wrong foot with us, it could've escalated into an endless feud, but I just couldn't stand the idea of maintaining a dislike for someone I was going to be living next door to for a long while. I prefer to reserve my strongest dislike for nazis, rapists, & child molesters, & not not waste negativity on some lonely old fart thumping his chest at me. One day the guy just told me "You better be scared of me" in an outright threat. I responded by calling him a "weird old coot -- the kind I like" & forced a big hug on him. Completely flabberghasted him, & from that day on, he stopped trying to be a nuisance. And it was much less work to be nice to him than to maintain a pointless grudge; even if I might've been able to justify being as rude as he used to be, that just takes a lot out of a body, whereas undermining his hostility with a sudden hug was kind of amusing & not at all draining to have done. It may have been dishonest to hug him & say I liked weird old coots, because I in no way liked him at that moment. But it seemed better to pretend fondness than to see if I could be more obnoxious than he was being. And I think the gambit ended up making life better for all concerned. Tempting though it was to "prove" to him he can't push us around, that just didn't seem like as rewarding a route as striving for peace. So I try at the very least to give a friendly wave every time he's in eye-shot, & a few times we've ended up in actual rational conversations about gardening, with no references to his behavior that first year we were here, & no need on my part for him to own up to having been such a jerk. I'm sure there are exceptional cases where no degree of reason or decency would win over a bad-egg neighbor. But I bet in 99% of cases, it takes two to tango, & even IF one of the two players was closer to "right" or "justified" in maintaining hostilities, it's still just two hard-headed fools in a ****ing contest, & in most cases it's going to pay off better to be gentlehearted even in the face of someone's aggression, unless endless escalations over nothing-worth-a-fight is what one really is after. -paghat the ratgirl -- "Of what are you afraid, my child?" inquired the kindly teacher. "Oh, sir! The flowers, they are wild," replied the timid creature. -from Peter Newell's "Wild Flowers" Visit the Garden of Paghat the Ratgirl: http://www.paghat.com |
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
"paghat" wrote in message news In article , "Anonny Moose" wrote: "Vox Humana" wrote in message ... "Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service through Yahoo??? That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post. -- Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A) The poster may have been a weirdo posing as more than was credible, but the topic became an interesting enough thread even so. When Granny Artemis & I first moved here a few years back, we had one neighbor, a retired police officer, who would swear very vulgarly at the top of his lungs in his back yard (usually at his innocuous bulldog), & became paranoid about the dykes whose house overlooked his. I think he was actually suffering small-pecker syndrome & didn't like the idea of butch girls higher on the hillside than him. For a while, any time he heard us in the back yard, he'd start cussing loudly at his dog -- obviously really for our benifit -- & he would bang on our door to complain about dumb things, like we got his lawn wet one day with our sprinkler, which we've been careful never to do again, but sheesh, if he wanted to pay for the water for our garden I wouldn't complain like that. For a few months we had endless minor troubles with him, like he'd call the city on us because the maple tree hung out over the sidewalk (in no one's way, but the ordinance says it can't hang above the sidewalk lower than ten feet or some such, & this was a little lower). Part of me wanted to kick his ass & show him what it's like to have an asshole for a neighbor, but on second thought I decided I was just going to be nice to him no matter how big an ass he was. Over time he's become less & less intrusive & paranoid about our presence & has even come close to seeming like a nice guy. He has a nice dog at least, & I try to always feel that anyone with a sweet playful elderly dog can't be all bad. If we'd continued to play his game of butcher-than-you which got him off on the wrong foot with us, it could've escalated into an endless feud, but I just couldn't stand the idea of maintaining a dislike for someone I was going to be living next door to for a long while. I prefer to reserve my strongest dislike for nazis, rapists, & child molesters, & not not waste negativity on some lonely old fart thumping his chest at me. One day the guy just told me "You better be scared of me" in an outright threat. I responded by calling him a "weird old coot -- the kind I like" & forced a big hug on him. Completely flabberghasted him, & from that day on, he stopped trying to be a nuisance. And it was much less work to be nice to him than to maintain a pointless grudge; even if I might've been able to justify being as rude as he used to be, that just takes a lot out of a body, whereas undermining his hostility with a sudden hug was kind of amusing & not at all draining to have done. It may have been dishonest to hug him & say I liked weird old coots, because I in no way liked him at that moment. But it seemed better to pretend fondness than to see if I could be more obnoxious than he was being. And I think the gambit ended up making life better for all concerned. Tempting though it was to "prove" to him he can't push us around, that just didn't seem like as rewarding a route as striving for peace. So I try at the very least to give a friendly wave every time he's in eye-shot, & a few times we've ended up in actual rational conversations about gardening, with no references to his behavior that first year we were here, & no need on my part for him to own up to having been such a jerk. I'm sure there are exceptional cases where no degree of reason or decency would win over a bad-egg neighbor. But I bet in 99% of cases, it takes two to tango, & even IF one of the two players was closer to "right" or "justified" in maintaining hostilities, it's still just two hard-headed fools in a ****ing contest, & in most cases it's going to pay off better to be gentlehearted even in the face of someone's aggression, unless endless escalations over nothing-worth-a-fight is what one really is after. You're absolutely right. Your priorities are spot on. On many occasions my wife and I have held our tongues for the sake of peace. And have never lived to regret it. Jim |
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neighbor problems?? It's TRUE!
On Thu, 01 Jul 2004 14:03:25 GMT, "Vox Humana"
wrote: "Anonny Moose" wrote in message ... "Bill R" wrote in message ... Warren wrote: Bad Fences wrote: A national news magazine program is looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor. contact us at: You expect us to believe that Dateline NBC get's it's e-mail service through Yahoo??? That is EXACTLY what I thought when I read the post. -- Bill R. (Ohio Valley, U.S.A) I checked Dateline's website http://msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600/ where I found this: . Neighbor problems We're looking for a few good examples of neighbor problems. Is there someone on your block that just makes you crazy? Send us your details. If your case is chosen for our broadcast report, we will try to help find a solution for you and your neighbor. And YES, the address you link to is this yahoo account. Boy, do I have a neighbor problem.... Me too, but I don't think they have a cure for "redneck" They don't. I live on a corner lot, the main street contains larger fairly well kept older homes and the side street has some older places that need a good going over. The house next to us was a rental for a while, we talked to them just to make sure we had good neighbors (most of them introduced themselves to us when they moved it). The folks across the street are heavily involved in the church down the street and haven't said anything to us when they realized we weren't going to attend their church. The other folks across the street didn't say much to us until we had a neighborhood noise problem and needed additional signatures to get the problem resolved. On the side street are some older folks who mind their own business but will stop and yack your ear off if you let them. Really nice people, we look out for them. One couple lives in her grandmother's house...they're nice but a bit snotty. They're now trying to sue us for a piece of land they say her grandmother planted flowers on YEARS ago (which i mow or weedeat regularly). Across from them is the redneck...I hate to call the guy that because it's an insult to rednecks. 900sq foot home with 6 people living in it. 5 running vehicles and 3 in various states of disrepair. He had 3 more until the city made him clean them up. Nasty, which is why I have a large bamboo "fence line" running in the back so I don't have to see it. I've tried to talk to him, all he can talk about is how bad the city is for making him mow his lawn and keep it semi neat. The best neighbors I had was were I grew up in Virginia. 7 homes in a row surrounded by woods or farmed fields. No fences, no boundaries. We'd play footback in the backyards of 4 homes, no one cared. We asked for permission which shocked them. If someone was sick the others would stop by with a meal or something. Lots of mutual respect, we looked at our actions from what other's might think. When Dad planted blueberries in the back he planted 2 dozen bushes. I asked why, he said so everyone could enjoy them. It's still like that there too, since 1975 only one person moved away. Pretty cool if you ask me. |
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