"Hound Dog" wrote in message
...

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
...
On Sun, 22 Aug 2004 18:09:52 GMT, "Doug Kanter"
wrote:

New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden.
In
my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but
twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they calmed
down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder
their
trash
if they don't control it.

This time, I thought it might be better to begin more quietly. I need
to
word a sign perfectly. The target audience is so-called "good dog
owners",
the ones who clean up after their trash animals. They're the ones who
try
and convince you that even though it's your property, it's OK for
them
to
stop there. And, I believe that even when the owner picks the stuff
up,
the
scent is still of interest to other dogs. My initial thought (for
small,
tasteful signs) was simply "No Dogs for ANY Reason. Period."

Sounds boring, though, so I'm open to suggestions. The message I
really
want
to convey is that the guy at this house may or may not be stable. I
hope
I'm
not, but so far, I am.

A friend suggested this: "All Dogs Will Be Collected and Eaten"

Anyway, the best suggestion wins 27 virtual cold beers. :-)


Why don't you put up a fence?

It'll save you a lot of trouble and grief in the long run.

Hal



Zoning regulations prevent putting up ENOUGH of a fence to make any
difference. Besides, why should I spend thousands of dollars to
compensate
for someone else's lack of consideration?


What do your next door neighbors do to discourage dogs from using their
yards at toilets?

Sounds like your yard has some unusual attraction for dog walkers as well
as
their animals.

Find out what that attraction is and do away with it, or change it.




Actually, there are very few fences in this neighborhood - just a few in the
back yards. As far as the "attraction", none is necessary. People stop their
dogs randomly at the dog's convenience. You know that.

I don't advocate harming the dogs but it takes superhuman effort not to get
too annoyed after fishing your newspaper with warm dog turd from the front
of your yard for the upteenth time.

I mean seriously when you see the dog owner stopping to allow his dog to
crap in front of your lawn - right smack in front of your walkspace - it
does tend to get a bit annoying.

Sure you can complain but it takes forever for the authorities to take any
action on such matters.

True, but it achieves the goal, doesn't it? The goal is less dogs roaming
the neighborhood. The goal is NOT to put an owner ON the hook, which means
nothing but a $25 fine, about the same as a parking ticket. That achieves

A $25 dollar fine? Over here in Melbourne Australia - the parking ticket
fine is closer to $50 or $80.

"Crimson Castle" wrote in message
...
I don't advocate harming the dogs but it takes superhuman effort not to
get
too annoyed after fishing your newspaper with warm dog turd from the front
of your yard for the upteenth time.

I mean seriously when you see the dog owner stopping to allow his dog to
crap in front of your lawn - right smack in front of your walkspace - it
does tend to get a bit annoying.

Sure you can complain but it takes forever for the authorities to take any
action on such matters.



Bingo!

The first time I dealt with it, the dog catcher said she had to actually
witness the event, or the stray dog before she could even hound the owner.
In this case, the dog in question was only roaming around 6:30 AM. Animal
control people don't come out at that hour unless they're dealing with a
dangerous animal, so I was left to handle the situation myself. Ridiculous.
By the way, the town justice finally straightened out the dog catcher, who
somehow had gotten a skewed idea of how to do her job.

"Hound Dog" wrote in message
...

Find out what that attraction is and do away with it, or change it.




Actually, there are very few fences in this neighborhood - just a few in
the
back yards. As far as the "attraction", none is necessary. People stop
their
dogs randomly at the dog's convenience. You know that.

No, I do not know that. Dogs will pretty much relieve themselves where
ever
they have been trained to.

I've taught most of my dogs to go in my own back yard. A few others, when
I
lived where I did not have a yard, I taught to use the curb.

No sidewalks, no curbs. If there were, they'd still be my responsibility to
maintain.


If the animals are using your yard way more than your neighbors, then
something is ATTRACTING their walkers.
Perhaps you have a nice shady spot over your front walk where the person
likes to stop and relax. Or perhaps there is something interesting for
them
to see.

Yep. Nice shade tree near the edge. Not cutting it down, though. And, within
a year, the property will be loaded with flowers, and therefore VERY
interesting.


Try standing in your front yard when you see them approaching. Your
presence
may be enough to embarrass them and encourage them to find another area to
use. If that fails, ask them nicely to go elsewhere. It is your yard after
all.

"Embarrass". That proves my point. If the owners are embarrassed, they know
they're doing something wrong. We shall see.

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...

"Hound Dog" wrote in message
...

"Doug Kanter" wrote in message
...

wrote in message
...
On Sun, 22 Aug 2004 18:09:52 GMT, "Doug Kanter"
wrote:

New house, new yard, new neighborhood, soon to be a massive garden.
In
my
last 'hood, there were quite a few dog owners to deal with and I
went
directly from calm to ballistic with no in between. It worked, but
twice,
the police were at my house, ready with handcuffs, until they
calmed
down
and realized that it's legal tell a dog owner that you'll murder
their
trash
if they don't control it.

This time, I thought it might be better to begin more quietly. I
need
to
word a sign perfectly. The target audience is so-called "good dog
owners",
the ones who clean up after their trash animals. They're the ones
who
try
and convince you that even though it's your property, it's OK for
them
to
stop there. And, I believe that even when the owner picks the stuff
up,
the
scent is still of interest to other dogs. My initial thought (for
small,
tasteful signs) was simply "No Dogs for ANY Reason. Period."

Sounds boring, though, so I'm open to suggestions. The message I
really
want
to convey is that the guy at this house may or may not be stable. I
hope
I'm
not, but so far, I am.

A friend suggested this: "All Dogs Will Be Collected and Eaten"

Anyway, the best suggestion wins 27 virtual cold beers. :-)


Why don't you put up a fence?

It'll save you a lot of trouble and grief in the long run.

Hal



Zoning regulations prevent putting up ENOUGH of a fence to make any
difference. Besides, why should I spend thousands of dollars to
compensate
for someone else's lack of consideration?


What do your next door neighbors do to discourage dogs from using their
yards at toilets?

Sounds like your yard has some unusual attraction for dog walkers as
well
as
their animals.

Find out what that attraction is and do away with it, or change it.




Actually, there are very few fences in this neighborhood - just a few in
the
back yards. As far as the "attraction", none is necessary. People stop
their
dogs randomly at the dog's convenience. You know that.

No, I do not know that. Dogs will pretty much relieve themselves where ever
they have been trained to.

I've taught most of my dogs to go in my own back yard. A few others, when I
lived where I did not have a yard, I taught to use the curb.

If the animals are using your yard way more than your neighbors, then
something is ATTRACTING their walkers.
Perhaps you have a nice shady spot over your front walk where the person
likes to stop and relax. Or perhaps there is something interesting for them
to see.

Try standing in your front yard when you see them approaching. Your presence
may be enough to embarrass them and encourage them to find another area to
use. If that fails, ask them nicely to go elsewhere. It is your yard after
all.

Your first task is to contact the dog warden and find out exactly what the law
is in that jurisdiction. In most places it is illegal for owners to walk their
dogs on your property without your permission. However, if they are walking
their dogs on the town right-of-way near the street, it's entirely different.
Sign: how about Uncontrolled Attack Owner.
Iris,
Central NY, Zone 5a, Sunset Zone 40
"If we see light at the end of the tunnel, It's the light of the oncoming
train."
Robert Lowell (1917-1977)

"Doug Kanter" in news:Qj5Wc.1866$mV.1649
@news01.roc.ny:


A friend suggested this: "All Dogs Will Be Collected and Eaten"

Anyway, the best suggestion wins 27 virtual cold beers. :-)



All Dogs Will Be Collected and Forced to drink beer

Reo ) in :

Jesus Christ, what is this, the twilight zone? You sound like Taliban
discussing whose hands to cut off.

hands?
paws!


"Caution: Hungry Taliban members live here."

"Caution: lawn infested with carnivorous plants."

problem: you'd still have to teach the dogs to read.

"Doug Kanter" in
:


You're responding to two people at once, but I know that last line was
for me. So, try this. Almost any statement can contain more than one
meaning.

lead.

Please tell me all the possible meanings you see in this:

"I want to go out when it's dark and smell the moonflowers."

the Recombinant Punctuation game!
"I want to! go out when it's dark and smell! the moonflowers...."
"I want to go out! when it's dark... and smell the moonflowers."
"I! want to go out when it's dark and smell the moonflowers?"

"Crimson Castle" in
:

There used to be this jerk of a neighbour. He had this big labrador
dog - and he would always go and let it defecate right in front of my
front strip lawn. Small dogs I can take - but he had a big dog that
had big crap... And when he kept on repeatedly doing it - what the
hell is wrong with him??? The crappy thing is that his wife would yell
at other dog owners.

Thankfully, the bugger moved out - and hopefully is staying next to a
Hell's Angels gangleader who owns killer rottweillers.

anyhow, I had more important things to worry about - so I didn't let
it get to me... unless I sat down for awhile and thought about it....
moreover I just didn't want an argument with the silly duffer. If I
wanted to get even, I collect his dog's feces from my front lawn -
then throw it onto his front door at 3am when noone is looking. If I
was any younger - I'd collect my OWN feces and hurl it into his front
door step at 3am randomly.

onto their patio cover roof :-) out of reach from a ladder.

do htey have a swimming pool? pond?

donw the chimney.

a 6 months' collection, super-rehydrated, then impenetrably clusteerd
(poured) around their mailbox :-)

shove thru vehicle grill, against the radiotor? pack, pack, embed, embed


http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=e...up=alt.revenge

I guess you could post a sign outside your lawn stating that you are
using an insecticide that is highly toxic to animals. Then casually
warn passing dog owners about insecticide - make up some story - about
how it "may" cause harm to their pets.

namedrop: incurabel canine diseases.


You can also scatter highly hot
chilli seeds onto the areas when the dogs crap.

Warning! Insecticide Being Used may be Highly Toxic to animals.


don't forget to include a company name and logo.

either hand scawl the sign with marker, including a supposed cell number
and 'amateurish' soudning name such as, bug thugz (seeminlgy written by
someone who has suffered much damage to nervous system)

or

ABC-Syntrol-Davidson Hazardous Controls, Inc. - Division of Allied
Industrial and Nuclear Test Co.


paint your truck in camouflage. decorate your place with shrunken heads.
wiht windows open, loudly play recordings of large exotic predators
(pterodactyls, etc).


Usually what they can't be certain of - usually puts an extra fear in
them.

don't step on the cracks!

"Pam - gardengal" in
news:I0eWc.296886$a24.77108@attbi_s03:

why not consider planting a dog-unfriendly
hedge of some sort, like barberries or rugosa roses?

until the neighbor sues, cuz their kid crashed thier bike into the
rose/briar patch.

Certainly a lot
easier than doing battle with your neighbors to the point where the
cops are called or posting signs which beg to be ignored or more
likely, willfully disregarded.

sort of true. but the sign might encourage dog walker to let the poop go
on another neighbor's front yard :-)

Larry Blanchard in news:2ouil5Fefp03U3@uni-
berlin.de:

Oh yes, the sign: "Doggie-doo is a big fat WMD"

[edited]

"Felice Friese" in news:zdsWc.31068$9d6.11849
@attbi_s54:

Simple, Felice. You catch 'em, you tie them to the handle of the garage
door, you remove their tags, you call the dog catcher......ba da bing.
Doggy
gone. What's so hard about that?

Jeez, Doug, that's downright humane.

except the tag removal...

"Doug Kanter" in
:

If a dog owner lets its animal roam, the owner CLEARLY intended for
the animal to annoy other people. There's no reason to show
consideration for the owner, who, 99% of the time, will repeat the
crime again.

what about the dog?

either way, the owner isn't qualified ot 'own' pets.