"Mich" wrote in message ...
[...]
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?
[...]

No, they aren't; but that's small comfort to you, I know. And
sometimes their hammering of the soils is from desperation, not greed:
things aren't good down on the farm just now.

I'd go with the piece of railway; but you'll have to do it at a time
of year when he doesn't come past, or he'll 'accidentally' bump into
it before the concrete's set. I'm fascinated to know how you'll dig a
hole eight feet deep, though: pretty hard to do anywhere, but
especially beside the road; so make sure you don't put yourself in the
wrong, or hit any incoming mains.

Mike.

"Mich" wrote in message news:bh7hk1$u79d9$1@ID-

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).


Just be yourself. You sound like an irritating a***hole, whining about some
poor ******* trying to earn a living.

regards


Chu

"Chu Mai Fat" wrote in message
...

"Mich" wrote in message news:bh7hk1$u79d9$1@ID-

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).


Just be yourself. You sound like an irritating a***hole, whining about
some
poor ******* trying to earn a living.

Oh thanks! I'll continue to do that then and I hope it achieves the desired
results.
Your the b*stard with the blue tractor I take it?
It certainly takes an a**hole to know one!

"Nick Maclaren" wrote in message
...
In article ,
Drakanthus wrote:
You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.

I am aware of the problems of doing anything that might be illegal .
Although last night I have to admit I nearly got the Police out for crimnal
damage, but I decided that looked petty - I would rather act petty! g

Its interesting that I havent seen him or his tractor today . He is usually
up and down the lane from first light to last light . Last night he finished
at 9.00pm ( when he took my hebe bush down).

Unusually today his fields are dead silent.

He is not actually my *neighbour * , as in not living nearby. His fields are
all around mine but he lives about three miles away.

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 11:43:00 GMT, billy_bunter wrote:

Mich spluttered almost incoherently...:


"Mich" wrote in message
...

"Paul" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 08:52:34 +0100, "Mich"
wrote:

After years of being a doormat. I too am fed up of irritating and
selfish
neighbours too.
In fact I am so p***ed off I have decided , that if you cannot beat
'um
,
you should join 'um!

So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please).

I am serious here.

TIA

what has the neighbour done to annoy you?

My neighbour is a farmer. Do you want the catalogue?
Main thing is he constantly uses my drive to turn the corner into the lane
with his big blue tractor.
I appreciate he has to use the lane ( as do I) but my drive is not the
lane.

so in addition to constantly using my drive as his turning point

a) churning up my drive with heavy machinery and making holes in it

b) churning up my drive by refusing to give me one hour to complete
necessary repair works and allow them to dry.

c) deliberately destroying a 15 year old mature Hebe bush on the corner
of
my drive with his big blue tractor and triple low loader and some extra
attachment - all of which he was trying to bring down a lane barely big
enough for it ( I watched him as he reversed and drove forward three times
over it last night!) I couldn't catch him to stop him!

d) spraying his crops with SWW treated human sewerage and creating a
big
stink over the whole valley

e) building bonfires about 30ft high with no regard to road users or
neighbours

f) spraying his crops with hormones which contaminated my tomatoes and
caused them to curl and look like they had tobacco virus ( serious round
here since the whole area was devastated by Tobacco virus in the 1970's)
Destroyed my whole crop!

g) generally being arrogant and unpleasant and acting as if he owns the
world when I tried to get a reasonable agreement over the repair of my
drive.

h) continuing to have no regard for property which is not his.

Do you want more?

So how do I be the ultimate a** hole to the finest a**hole Ive met?
And are all farmers such grade 1 a**holes?

And can I just add to this list

Flooding the lane with water when it rains from his fields due to the
nature of his over cultivation of the land and general growing the guts out
of it.

I have been patient and reasonable and bit my lip and said nothing. but my
hebe ( it flowered beautifully) was the last straw.

How do I replace that - and of course anything I put there will be destroyed
by his big blue tractor before it even has chance to get established ... and
of course he will be turning uninhibited on my drive!

Why not dig a hole at the limit of your land, on the corner of the drive in
question, and stick a great big concrete bollard in. Then plant a nice
climber or shrub to cover it from your side.

or dig a very deep hole fill, the bottom with sharpened stakes, and
cover it with thin branches
--
Martin

"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

Aphodius

suitable solution then some very large boulders should do the
trick.
Or
I should add , for the record he has NO RIGHT OF WAY across my drive.



A gate across your drive should do the trick ;-)

Natalie

On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 18:49:00 +0100, "Aphodius"
wrote:


"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.
--
Martin

In article ,
martin wrote:
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 18:49:00 +0100, "Aphodius"
wrote:
"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

On 11 Aug 2003 20:12:52 GMT, (Nick Maclaren) wrote:

In article ,
martin wrote:
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 18:49:00 +0100, "Aphodius"
wrote:
"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....

and coughing smokers
--
Martin

In article ,
martin wrote:
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 18:49:00 +0100, "Aphodius"
wrote:
"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....


Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

On 11 Aug 2003 20:12:52 GMT, (Nick Maclaren) wrote:

In article ,
martin wrote:
On Mon, 11 Aug 2003 18:49:00 +0100, "Aphodius"
wrote:
"Mich" wrote:
snip
So what can I do to be the most irritating a** hole imaginable ( legal
suggestions only please). I am serious here.
---
For starters, buy an old petrol driven lawnmower and cut your grass at least
three times a week. Don't like gardening and grow thistles. Keep dogs, the
b*****s that like barking at nothing in particular right through the day.
Attract squirrels, the more the merrier. Develop a liking for loud, heavy
rock music. Have lots of barbeques and invite all your friends with their
children. Oh, and don't forget to grow a leylandii hedge on the east side of
your garden, if you have a side facing east. Will that do to be going on
with?

don't forget the flock of geese, and the cockerel that starts up at
dawn.

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....

and coughing smokers
--
Martin

Oh, come off it! Peafowl, please! And perhaps a donkey ....

.... a few hives of bees to replace the hebe ...

Mary

Regards,
Nick Maclaren.

The message
from (Nick Maclaren) contains these words:

Or, plant a metal spike where the Hebe is, hidden amongst the foliage. I
think the tractor tyres would come of worse!

You might well then get a bill for the tyre, which will be in four
figures, and might lose in court. The post idea is a better one.

sniff! I was going to say that!

--
Rusty http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/tqt.htm
horrid·squeak snailything zetnet·co·uk excange d.p. with p to reply.

Xref: kermit uk.rec.gardening:158903

The message
from martin contains these words:

Why not dig a hole at the limit of your land, on the corner of the drive in
question, and stick a great big concrete bollard in. Then plant a nice
climber or shrub to cover it from your side.

or dig a very deep hole fill, the bottom with sharpened stakes, and
cover it with thin branches

Nah, you might catch a heffalump, especially if anyone nearby has a
rhubarb tree.

--
Rusty http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/hi-fi/tqt.htm
horrid·squeak snailything zetnet·co·uk excange d.p. with p to reply.